First Love & Depression?

[Neil]

Depression basically is a problem where you're stuck in a past-moment(trying to 'undo' something that happened), or you want to be 'anywhere but here'.

It always gets healed the same way, at some point the person can let go of everything the situation 'is not', and embrace the need to change the situation if it makes you unhappy.(that's difficult with all the emotion, and frustration surrounding it, but it's really a very simple dynamic).

So yes, she might have loved you, maybe you were a tool in her trying to find control over her depression, or maybe you were just a distraction.

It really doesn't matter, you did your best to make it work right? Now ask yourself, what did I learn?

Because if you do that, you will do better next time, and that's basically what life is, we try, we learn, we do better.
And at some point, we get it right.