Should I just kill myself?

[562]

I'm really missing my friend Derrick I loved him a lot We spent a not long that time together but an unfortunate situation tore us apart and I have no contact at all

The hardest part is I never got the chance to tell him how much I love him how much I care about him I just wanna see him again, I was thinking about killing myself so that way I could look upon him from the heavens

I don't have a phone number, address or anything we don't even go to the same school anymore and I can't see him anymore and I miss him so much

I think he liked me a lot too you see he's always wanted to go to Hollywood and I wanna go there too because that was his dream I feel so incomplete and withered without him he means a lot to me?

I was always afraid somehow that he would "Leave me behind" and that I would become some fond memory of some sort or forgotten it was a daily thought that pondered my mind.

I think that if I make it to Hollywood and become a rap music journalist that he'll comeback to me because he's always wanted to be a rapper I know it's silly what what do u think?