Boyfriend acting really defensive about changing his Facebook relationship status after cheating scare. Am I being too c

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I've been dating this guy for a year and a half (I'm 21, and he's 31), and it has been going pretty well. We live together, and he says he wants to settle down and we might get married after he's done with college. My dream is to be a stay-at-home mom, so I'm really excited to find someone who is serious about me.

The problem is--well, I looked at his Facebook messages and his phone. I know it's an invasion of privacy, but he kept getting texts from girls and I'd see them as they popped up and finally just wanted to know what was going on, and I found out he has been flirting with multiple women, none of whom seem to know I exist, and none of whom he's told me about. He called one of them sexy (something he actually refuses to call me saying I'm too cute to be sexy), and when I asked him who she was, he said she was a friend, and married. He denied flirting with her until I told him I saw the messages, and then he said, "Well I never flirt with single women" (which I know is a lie because one of his flirty messages was to a girl who told him she was single in the same thread).

We talked about it (I consider it cheating) and he promised not to do it again, but because many of these instances were over Facebook I asked him (for about the third time, mind you) to please list himself as in a relationship with me. I said it looks like he's keeping his options open. He said "All the important people know," and told me I seem like I'm trying to control his Facebook with this.