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woollysheep · 05-09-2014, 12:01 PM

I am one of 5 siblings, brought up together, but not biological siblings. We had 5 totally different experiences with biological parents.

I suggest the first thing you do is talk to your adoptive parents. Let this be a project you all do together. Whatever you do - don't make contact with your bio-mom on your own.

Being a teenager is difficult - without the added difficulty of adding a bio-mom to your life. I know you must feel like you are mature enough to cope - believe me, a few more years will really help. I am not accusing you of being immature - but any preditor will see a teenager as being a victim. Your bio-mom may be the most wonderful person - but you don't know!!! My friend's bio-mom looked perfect on paper - beautiful, a string of good qualifications, incredible talent, a long and supposedly happy marriage, a leader of a number of voluntary projects with the poor and needy, an important member of her church .... and so on. She met up with her, and beautiful bio-mom went on to destroy my friend's life.

So don't rush into anything. Of course you want to meet her - some day. But let you adopted parents take charge of this. Perhaps they could write to bio-mom and tell her that when she is ready, you are all ready to make contact - so long as it is controlled by them. You never know what might happen - you might find a new friend, but you might not. Be patient. Don't get your hopes up. And it could be wonderful.

Oh, and the "typical" symptoms of adoption? Not true - most adoptions work well - we just hear about the ones that don't. Most of those people would have been even more unhappy/depressed, etc. if they had not been adopted! My siblings and myself all came to realise that!