How to cope when everybody hates you?

[Heather]

Awwww, sweetie. I'm sorry you're going through that crap -- high school really sucks. I can relate to a lot of what your saying. At that age, most people aren't too confident, so they look around, see that others treat you badly, and they do it, too. They just assume that there's some reason you're disliked, so it doesn't even matter to them that they have no reason to dislike you.

I don't know where you live (I'm in California), but here are some of the steps I took when I was your age that really helped. And also some new options that weren't around back then (late 80s for me!)

1.) Check out the "It Gets Better" campaign on Youtube. I know you're not gay, but it's really for anyone who feels like they don't fit into high school.

2.) I had a really good community college near where I lived, and it was infinitely better -- much more diverse, with all different scenes. I took the CA Proficiency Test and just LEFT high school at 16 (w/parent's permission), and went full time to the community college, transferred as a junior to a UC, etc. Even if you don't do something that drastic, get a catalog and take a class or two at night at the CC -- anything: Figure Drawing, or Philosophy, or Photography -- whatever. Join clubs on campus -- find your peeps!

3.) Don't hide from the real world, but join some online groups, and you'll naturally find people to chat with, who have no pre-conceived notions about you. You're obviously smart, you say you're nice (I believe you !) and you're trying to fix things. Maybe people a little older than you are a better fit. Not for dating, but just to talk things out.

4.) Unless you're in a really small town, there are probably people around who don't go to your school. Expand your horizon! If new people who don't know anyone you know seem to feel negatively too, you'll have to look harder at yourself. I figured out I had this know-it-all way of talking -- it was just like my tone, I guess you'd say. So I'd record myself, to train myself not to sound like that! haha

5.) Make people laugh, and they'll like you. You might be able to embrace your outsider status, and be an "interesting" character, instead of neutral. Act like you have a rich separate life that they WISH they could be in on!

6.) Try to be positive. Or act that way, I mean. Even if you're nice and helpful, if you depress people, they may end up with a negative feeling towards you. If you hate 99 things you see at lunchtime, and 1 you like, comment on the 1!

Good luck. Hang in there. You'll see -- it'll get better.