How do I deal with an ex-friend who is starting rumors to harm my name and marriage?

[ISee]

This is like a bad movie.

The only thing that makes sense is to come clean with your husband.

Let me tell you a story about something that happened to us. As improbable as it may seem, it's a true account of what happened.

My wife was a very pretty girl. She told me when one of the guys at work started hitting on her. In those days, her staff used to go to a local pub each Friday after work, and she would go too. Back then, we only had one car, so I would drop by the pub on Fridays after my day was done to pick her up.
The Friday after she told me, I went into the pub and sat with the guy who was hitting on my wife. When the group at the table thinned to just the two of us, I said to him that I understood his interest in my wife... she's knock out gorgeous... but apparently totally honest with me about his advances. I suggested that it'd be fruitless for him to continue trying, but I was complimented by his interest.
He was flabbergasted by my honesty.
We became good friends.
To my knowledge, he never stopped flirting, yet never crossed the line either.

If you are really serious about your relationship with this man (husband), you have to be honest and totally truthful with him.

If he is angry that you "invaded" his privacy, deal with it.

I suspect that knowing what you now know - that he turned down an affair for love of you - regardless of how you found out, will trump any other difficulty that comes as a result of your honesty. He deserves some special treatment from you for that loyalty and fidelity.

As for your affair-seeking friend, I'm not so sure that I'd be as kind to her as I was to my wife's suitor. But that situation takes a back seat to your relationship to your husband. Deal with him first, then some time later, talk with him about how you (as a couple) should deal with her.

And keep thinking - in the back of your mind - what a wonderful man that you've got. No wonder other women are attracted to him.

iSee