Can you get a nose job at home yourself?

[Shemp Howard]

Yes. It is simple, just follow these three easy steps and you'll have you're dream nose, as I do!
Step 1: find a hammer and pick it up.
Step 2: slam the hammer into your nose the desired amount of times. Your new shape depends on how hard you hit and the number of times hit. My recommendation is like Brille Cream, but the opposite, a little dab is not good enough. Get right in there as hard as you can!!
Step 3: Marvel at your new nose!! Post it on Instagram or Facebook (but not Twitter) and show your friends your super sniffer, and share with them this awesome secret! Hope this helped!! Excelsior!!