I really want to change, but is it even possible?

[Hellblade999]

I've spent years upon years fighting my greatest enemy-myself. I have huge character flaws in my personality that cause me to be a nuisance to other people as well as an emotional terrorist and sometimes a manipulator. My problems originate from childhood abuse, rejection issues and self-esteem issues which I have been struggling with all twenty years of my life. I also have bipolar disorder, however, after a recent incident that involved a very serious altercation between myself and a relative on Facebook, I have decided that I am sick of being defective. For once in my life, I'd like to take responsibility for my own actions and more than anything, I would like to work my way to some kind of normalcy. Over the last few years, I've made some big improvements already, however as a a child and a teenager, I was always the instigator of threats and verbal abuse towards my fellow classmates as well as other people. My disorder has played a big part in this, but when I look back at the last two years specifically, I notice that I have been making progress that no one ever thought possible before. I still have a long way to go, but I am willing to work there.
After the incident with the relative over Facebook, I decided to go to a mental health hospital again, voluntarily, in order to have an evaluation done to determine whether I should stay for a few days or should participate in an outpatient program. I gave a passionate speech to the evaluator and I was very honest about how I felt and that I really wanted to change for the better. Her assessment of me was that the outpatient program would be best for me. I'm twenty years old, I've made a lot of mistakes and bad choices in my life and I really do want to change. I've already decided that I'm going to do whatever it takes to fix myself so I never cause pain to another person ever again! I'm going to put my heart and soul into group therapy, I'm going to be as honest as possible with my second therapist and finally, I'm going to find the medication that will change my life forever! My relative was right, I am a loser, but there's still time to change that. Sometimes, I just wonder if it's even possible to change at this point, since I've already been fighting this battle for years and years of my life. I'm skeptical but I'm willing to try anyway, regardless of what I think the outcome is going to be.