I Need Help?

[688]

I am finally at this point. I always told myself that I would never even consider this. But here I am. I am contemplating suicide. I hate to say it. It has just become too much. And please don't tell me "it gets better" or any of that crap because I have been depressed for like three years. There is too much pressure. I am pressured to do really well in school. I am not allowed to do what I want when it comes to school. I have no say in anything.

I am that guy who everyone thinks doesn't have a care in the world. I am the guy who is always happy and tries to make people laugh. But inside, I am seriously hurting. Tonight especially as was misled by a girl and a couple friends about the girl. I am taking her to prom, but I had thought she "liked" me. Turns out we are just going to go as friends.

Also, I am always the guy who allows the other person to go first or make the decision or do what they want. Nobody ever puts me first. I only have one friend who really ever puts me first. Because I'm the oldest and the only guy out of the kids, I'm also never even thought of when it comes to being put first in my family.

Nobody cares about my opinion and no girl cares about me that I care about.

Thank you for your time.

Again I hate it has come to this, but I really just do not feel happy at all anymore and it is becoming more and more difficult to be "happy".