Insecure/Over Emotional/Paranoid Girlfriend?

[Lynn V]

Dear Soppy, Sorry Wimp,
So you apparently haven’t spent enough time in Ultimatumlandia, so you want to sign up to marry into it. If you think the ultimatums will diminish with time you are delusional. Every time you cave in to her terrorist tactics, you reinforce her irrational thinking thereby making it stronger. Let’s review: U1 - you have to inform your dear leader every time you speak to, or otherwise interact with, another human being. U2 - When that wasn’t satisifactory, she was allowed to ‘remove’ people from your life that didn’t meet with her (irrational) approval. U3 - When that wasn’t enough to calm her (irrational) fears, she snuck around behind your back getting rid of even more people thatdon’t meet her (irrational) approval, some on the most flimsy of pretexts. U4 - She (irrationally) ordered you to retrieve your belongings and get out of her life when your phone battery died. It took you hours to calm her down and see reason. U5 - You are now to scale back, and eventually (don’t worry, it’s coming) cease all community activities. U6 - You are not allowed to see your male friends anymore. U6 - You will get engaged immediately or you will be gone.
So you see, every time you have given her exactly what she wants, she demands more and more, and the restrictions on your life become more ridiculous. Your way of handling things IS NOT WORKING! It is way past time for you to stop trying to repair a mentally ill person by indulging their most irrational and base behavior. Instead (if you are determined to stay with a person who will fight your need for autonomy at every turn) is to repeatedly, like a mantra, say “you either trust on me on this, or we cannot continue to date.” No exceptions.You are not a small teacup dog that she can carry in her handbag so that she knows where you are every second. People carry those dogs, because that way they control every aspect of the dog’s behavior - much like your gf tries to ‘handbag’ you. Life in Ultimatumlandia is exhausting and completely unrewarding,so ask yourself if it is really where you want to spend the next 60-70 years.