I Burned The Church Down!? Please Help!?

[Muhahaha]

The priest is away doing work in Africa and he left me in charge.

I had 35 windows/tabs open on the church's computer (in his office) at the time of the fire. I had been downloading the yo la tengo discography from itunes whilst streaming several youtube videos, listening to an npr broadcast, instant messaging my friends, updating my facebook status, checking three email accounts, answering a question on yahoo answers, talking on skype, and playing online poker all while installing the latest version of firefox and updating my system software.

When I opened a friends myspace profile an animated GIF of the peanuts character Linus dancing started to play along with a mini version of Justin Timberlake's "Bringing Sexy Back".Then the screen read "system overload" and a load of sparks started emitting from the screen so I gave it a good bang on the top and it stopped and the BSOD came up. I left it to restart and went home to get an innocent Banana and Strawberry smoothie and when I came back the entire church was on fire and the church organist was rolling around the church graveyard with burn marks on her backside.

I don't want to go to hell, WTF am I going to do?