How can I become better friends with a Facebook acquaintance?

[Desiderius]

I've done this before. I remember I met a girl in another state on Myspace years back, so not quite the same, but it'll be the same basic principle as far as an online relationship. We exchanged messages for a few weeks before she suggested we get on AIM and IM each other. This went one for a few months before we finally decided to exchange numbers. That said, during the time we IMed, we learned a helluva lot about each other, so we already knew each other relatively well before we started talking over the phone.

I will say this, moving on to phone conversation is very important for getting the friendship to advance. After the first couple of awkward calls, it felt natural. After this she was my friend for years. It ended because her boyfriend got jealous, they broke up, he got suicidal, and I told him things I shouldn't have. So rule number 1, absolutely do not get your friendship with her mixed up with your relationship with your girlfriend. I was on the receiving end of that mess, and it was annoying.

Rule number 2, don't get any ideas of forming a long distance relationship beyond that of a friendship. I know the girl was interested in me. Chances are you're interested in this girl, and she's interested in you. But it's not worth screwing up both your friendship and your current relationship over. These may seem like no brainers, but apparently they're not.

The good thing about establishing these long distance friendships is that they give you options. When you're thinking about moving somewhere, you have that many more viable options when you have other friends in other places. And lets say your current relationship doesn't last, and you get the chance to move to this place where this girl is. Options are always a good thing.

But all in all, just make sure you keep talking to her. Message her for a while, and then say how messaging back and forth on facebook is a bit tedious and ask if she'd like to IM on AIM or MSN or meebo or something. After a few months of that, keeping up a regular pace, suggest that "Hey, you know what? We should talk. Actually talk. You know, like on the phone." Go about it casually, and it won't be nearly as awkward. After you start talking on the phone, try calling her at least once a week. Keep IMing. Eventually, it will become natural.