My Husband and His EX?? I think he loves her?

[Mel]

Well i certainly don't still love any of my exes and one i was pregnant to and lost the baby so it wasn't a light situation,i frankly don't think it is the norm to be in a marriage as an adult and still love your ex from your teenage years,fond memories yes but love? No you move on especially when you have declared your love and commitment to someone else since then.

I think your husband is perhaps having a time of sorrow over the fact that he was not a part of his son's life,the ex hates him for abandoning her son,this is her child and the person she loves more than anyone in this world,imagine if you were in that situation,you would hate him too for hurting the children you love so much.

I imagine this hurts him because it is a stark reminder of the fact that he was a useless father who should have been there and he is ashamed of the fact that he did not try harder to do that.

His calls i can understand that he wants some private time to talk with his son,it's all very new,very new bonding process going on and he may be afraid to say something that will hurt you too or make you feel he loves the children you have less especially if he is expressing regrets.

I also think perhaps he is a little curious about the ex,it might just be because it bonds him back to his son and the years he missed out on,maybe he is trying to somehow fill in the gaps and by seeking her friendship and approval he thinks he can do that,she is the one who was there,she has the memories of the things he missed.

I would keep my eye on it,be clear that you are happy that he is in contact with his son but remind him that the son is 19 now and he doesn't need approval from his ex anymore,she has less control than she would if his son was young and only able to take on board her version of events.