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mixed or not-so-mixed signals?
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11-09-2012, 10:53 AM
Post: #1
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mixed or not-so-mixed signals?
I'm interested in this girl; we'll call her Mary. I think I've been getting some pretty mixed signals.
We attend the same church. Sunday nights after church, a large group typically goes to a bar. A few weeks ago, we noticed each other at church and made a little eye contact. At the bar afterwards, there was more eye contact. At the end of the night, she introduced herself. On the walk out, she did they typical girl-hugs-everyone-goodbye and I was (happily) included. That night I friended her on FB. I waited a couple days and sent her a message saying it was nice to meet her and that I was sorry we didn't get to talk and that we should next time. I also asked if she was going on the retreat the next weekend. She responded within an hour saying yes to everything. I saw her a few times at the retreat. I didn't want to seem desperate, so the only times I really chatted with her was in group conversation. At one point, she asked some people if we wanted to go play board games. I definitely wanted to go, but I held off and lagged about 15 minutes behind. I sat down with the other 5 people getting ready to play a game. She offered to be my partner, which I pretended like I didn't hear, because I thought I could be a bit more playful competing against her. During the game I really thought there was some flirtatious eye contact. That was our only notable contact during the retreat. The next Monday after the retreat, I sent her another FB message: "Hey! So if your team really did get [X] points in [game] (and some of those were questionable), then it seems a rematch may be in order. Unless of course you're not up to the challenge and would prefer something easier like Candyland or Chutes and Ladders... ![]() She replied with: "Umm we were definitely big winners.. And if you're willing to get your butt kicked again, we can most definitely rematch ![]() Or we COULD combine rematch with free lunch and make it an eating competition?" Going good, right? I asked her what her schedule looked like, and she responded after a couple days and said she had a really busy week and asked about mine. I ran into her unexpectedly at church that night before I had a chance to respond. We didn't really get a chance to talk then. I made some comments about the stuff that happened at the church meeting in my response to her message when I got home. I gave her my number because she said she sucked at replying to Facebook messages. She texted me the next morning with a possibly flirtatious message in response. I got an invitation to a cocktail party the next night, and Mary was on the attendee list. At this point, I had no choice but to take advantage of every opportunity I had to see her. I responded to her letting her know that I'd be going, and she asked if I had a "fancy outfit", and appended the unnecessary "I'm happy you're coming!" At the party, I didn't make a serious effort to spend a lot of time with her because, again, I didn't want to seem desperate, even though she was the only reason I accepted the invite on such short notice. I did have a couple 1:1 conversations with her though. There was a group discussion of a concert the next day, and Mary told me that I should come. Later on, when she left, she did not track me down to say good night, and I thought that was a little peculiar. There's more, see below. So I bought a ticket to the concert the next day. I texted her asking if she had plans before the concert and if she was interested in getting coffee or a late lunch. She said "Yes that interests me greatly! I already have plans though ![]() k. I texted her that night asking if she was going out for drinks, and she said "no, not tonight ![]() ![]() Uh oh. I must have screwed something up somewhere. I'm a fixer, and that wasn't okay. So I proceed to (possibly) screw things up more by asking if there was some subliminal message in there, to which she seemed confused. We toed at the topic a little more, and she said that she wasn't sure if I was asking her on a "date-ish type deal" to which I responded with "well date-ish type deal is kinda how I thought this friendship was progressing, but maybe I was picking up the wrong signals…?" and she dropped: "Well you're really awesome but I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was moving in that direction, [my name]. I'm just not really in a place to date right now, if that can make any sense" We talked a little bit more about it, and left the conversation off on a friendly note. My inclination here is to back off for a couple weeks to see if she'll approach me at all. Thoughts? Suggestions? Interpretations? Is this recoverable? She She's absolutely worth the trouble. Ads |
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mixed or not-so-mixed signals? - confused..? - 11-09-2012 10:53 AM
[] - relieveddock982 - 11-09-2012, 11:02 AM
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