I'm really depressed and I want to die.......?

[Shelley]

Amy, who do you want to be? You can't be somebody else - so inside of yourself, what part of YOU do you want to be? I think we are all made up of different parts and we choose to reveal the different parts of ourselves to different people. At the moment it seems as if you are revealing the part you hate about yourself to the different people? Only you will know. I don't want to say go to a club because clubs to a large extent are superficial places and I think what you need is a true friend. It is better to have one true friend than 500 social friends. I am not saying people who go to clubs are bad I am just saying it is not the place where people truly get to know each other. Perhaps you can go to a counsellor who can suggest a support group where you will end up meeting someone who understands you better? A church may be able to help you? Apart from that you might want to consider speaking to your GP about anti-depressants? You might want to consider helping out at a charity type organisation - do you like animals, children, old people, people in rehab? The funny thing is when you take the focus off yourself and help others who you think need help, you end up attracting genuine love and friendship without even trying. Under normal circumstances it is hard to meet people and portrait a positive part of yourself in an attempt to attract friendships when you are feeling so down. I really hope you consider those suggestions and I hope that you start feeling better about yourself. Good luck.