where do I begin to figure out "who I am"?

[Matilda]

I'm jealous of people with social lives. I have quite a few friends on Facebook, but I don't talk to any of them. I constantly see pictures of them with their groups of friends hanging out and doing fun stuff, you know having a regular teenagers' life, and I get so jealous. I'm 17 and I've literally never had a social life. I pretty much have no friends. The "friends" I do have constantly belittle me and make me feel bad about myself, and when I'm around them I tend to act differently, like I'm not myself. I suffer from anxiety, which makes it hard for me to even try to conjure up a social life. How can I distance myself from my "friends" without being rude about it? I just need time to figure out who the hell I am before I try to make friends with anyone else. I currently see a therapist/psychologist (I'm not really sure what she is) but my GP reffered me to this person who I see every fortnight. I'm not entirely sure that seeing her is even doing anything for me, or maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. But yeah, I have no idea who I am. Most of my life I've tried so hard to please everybody even if they treat me like crap I will just laugh it off and still be nice to them even though they do it again. I think I've tried so hard to be what everyone else ants me to be, that I don't even know who I am or who I was anymore. *sigh*