Why would a soon-to-be ex-husband be so mad if he was the one who left?

[Softtouchmale]

I'll answer your question simply: He's a controlling azzhatt.

There it is. He wants his cake and to eat it as you said above.

And when he doesn't get his way he gets mean. Fine. That's human nature.

However, what makes him seriously deranged is that he's continued to feud with you even though he has no reason to. He's projecting all of his insecurities onto you in order to justify leaving you.In short, he's a controlling azzhatt.

As far as him and guilt? He may feel guilty but the remorse he's feeling is more for his own mistakes towards himself.

There's your answer.