Extreme Depression over something i did.?

[dew]

That's a pretty big hurt and break in trust for her.

If she is a forgiving type of person, then she may eventually come to terms with it but I doubt she will ever try to contact you. That kind of hurt and after so many years of lies, she probably wouldn't believe any good would come of it.

She will get better. She will pick herself back up and start her life over again but without you in the picture.

The same will go for you. You will have to live with it for some time, will have to face the facts about what you did but you will eventually heal as well. The most that you could do, is to email her an apology. No excuses or explanations. Cause nothing you say would ever fix that. But you could apologize and hope that best for her. That she may one day come to forgive you and that you will be there, IF she ever wants to talk to you.

But do not torture yourself over her torturing herself. She will get over it. With time.