Am I depressed? or...?

[Hailey]

i'm sorry for this very long post, but I'm just so tired and lost, I need help... ( sorry for my bad english btw )

I'm a sixteen years old girl. I've always been a negative person, a loner, with a low self-esteem. I always was shy and tried to avoid going out with friends or by myself as much as I could, leading to a non-existent social life outside school. I am also someome who stress a lot and work extremely hard for school: studying takes a lot of place in my daily life. I am a perfectionnist. Lately, I have been pushing myself a lot and stressing like crazy for all the exams before winter break. And when everything was done and I was on break, I just became very lethargic. I'm always waking up past 1p.m. I'm staying in my bed all day and I'm too lazy to shower and sometimes I'm starving myself because I am to lazy to make myself something to eat. I have always been a lazy person and did this from times to times, but I feel like this is getting worst. And then at night, I can't sleep before 3 a.m and wake up many times during the night, but waking up like this has always happened to me though. I can sleep for 10 hours or sleep for 1hour and I can't seem to see any differences, I'm always exhausted. I'm becoming more and more irritated by my family, so I avoid them as much as possible. I never had a really strong bond with them, being affectionnate or talking often to them anyways. And since I don't have close friends, I'm pretty much alone. During this time of the year, I'm kinda excited for christmas and the new year, but this time I felt absolutely indifferent, I would have rather stayed in my bed alone at home instead. But once there with every one, It's like if I was forgetting how miserable I am for a brief instant, I didn't show anything. I tried to make some new years resolutions like I always do each year but I had no motivation and felt like it was useless since my life will always be sad and boring. I have a lot of work to do before school starts but I just can't find the motivation to do it and can't focus well anyways. I feel very lonley, sad and I also cry more often, but it doesnt last for long, because I'm telling myself that I'm a drama queen who just needs attention. But I can't take it anymore, I don't know what I have and how I'm gonna go back to school. I have those ephemere moments where I'm "happy" and feel ambitious about changing my life, but they never last more than an hour and then everything goes back to normal as I realize how hopeless my situation is, and I become lethargic again. I could try to go out, get some sun and talk to people to get out from all of this but I just don't have the strenght and the motivation for it. And anyways, I have no one to talk to because I don't have real friends and I'm not close to my parents, they wouldn't understand. I thought about suicide or cutting a few times but I'm not brave enough and I am too lazy. I don't know if i thought about it just to get some pity.

What is going on? Am I depressed? I mean, being blue, negative, lazy, all of that it has always been in my nature since I grew up, but I have the impression that this has been getting kinda worst for the past few years, when school started becoming more demanding, and especially since last week. I don't live anymore. But I am a drama queen and a hypochondriac as well. Do I just need attention or am tired because of school, or is this depression?

I need help, I can't take it anymore, I'm pathetic.
I forgot to mention that I have headaches quite often, something I didn't really had before.