Wife Cheated 2 years ago, still cant get over it?

[Warren]

My wife cheated on me two years ago at a class reunion, she told me the affair was just kissing and holding hands in a car. I found out about the affair after i caught some facebook transactions with the guy. It took several months for me to end the affair even calling the guys family up. I had to pick up the pieces for myself gather everything for my marriage, A year and a half passed, and my trust was built up, and I though everything was back to normal, until she left her email up (it was an email account she used for there affair) I read every email, and it was more than a kiss and holding hands in the care...they shared intimacy that night.... weve been married for 15 years and no kids...I have been faithful and although not the greatest of husbands I do give her my 100% of my attention and support...but right now i dont know what to think...she kept the emails that they shared together..I am totally lost again..and dont know if i could pick up the pieces like i did before...please help

I dont understand why she didnt get rid of the emails, she said she didnt want to tell me the truth because it would hurt me, although she was the one who was caught cheating it seemed like i was the one working harder for her appreciation, i blame that on myself. But now my trust is gone again, she pleads for me to change my mind, but all i want is a fresh start on life , 2 years was hard enough, Im 38 and shes 38...any advice is great advice.