Thinking about leaving my church?

[kate]

I know...it sounds like I'm leaving God. But that's not true!
I feel like I can become closer to God on my own. I don't feel..."right" at church. I feel much more comfortable talking to God on my own. I also cannot sit in one spot for an hour and a half. I squirm about and tap my feet uncontrollably. It's very hard for me to sit there. It's not like I don't love God, because I do.

And since the end times are upon us, the church is supposed to become raptures. False preachers, pastors living in riches...i do feel like the people working in my church are only doing it for money. The Sunday school teachers all receive a pay. In fact, they are paid enough that they live off it! Everyone gets paid there. That's the only reason I think they are there. My mom teaches a grade 5-6 Sunday school class in the mornings on Sunday and she does NOT want to be paid. The only people I think should be paid is the pastor and his son, who works in the office. He makes the bulletins, updates the Facebook page, and plans stuff. Those are the two jobs that deserve pay.

I don't feel very comfortable in there...there's something, off about it...I can't put my finger on it. My parents force me to go every Sunday. FORCE. I feel absolutely terrible about not wanting to go. I seriously think there's something evil about me that makes me feel so uncomfortable. It's bringing me down and making me ashamed. I feel like by not wanting to go to church, I am spitting in the face of god,


What should I do?? Do you go to church or do you keep a close relationship with god by yourself?
OLD: I will pray for you. I will pray that you can find God and free yourself of this unholy life.
OLD: If you really think that, the fine...once again, I'm shooting many prayers down your way!
STEVEN: Do NOT discuss how my religion is false, that God isn't real, or anything like that! NO!
Horse: what do you mean by mental cage???
Horse: mind prison, oops