(Writers) Do you like this short paragraph?

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Hey, Yahoo Answers. Please feel free to criticize and rate.
Ps. Please be aware this is fast paced and I will add more to it, thank you.

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The sun arose. Birds began to twitter and flutter over what was once a beautiful sky. It was now corrupted by the smoke that came from arena.

The fight still went on. Two dragons stood in an arena, with the cheers of thousands circling them.

They could barely stand up on their hind legs. They had endured too much. The wounds they encountered with the other dragons were starting to effect them.
Mark- lmao i did
Charz- Too much detail can be boring to a reader. Thus, making less room for the reader to imagine for themselves. I am writing in the style of Ernest Hemmingway -and no i'm not copying i have developed it.
In addition Charz as a writer, I avoid using adverbs as much as I can. I like to use strong verbs instead.