My trippy friend keeps trying to kill himself, what do I do?

[Autumn]

Hi Kake. Your friend isn't mentally unwell, his only problem in the world is that he is a drug addict and loving it. All of you pandering to him and 'rewarding' his behaviour with puppies and attention isn't exactly helping him change; you're making his destructive life easy and it will kill him.

You need to have an intervention and tell him that although you love him none of you are going to see him until he's clean. No more sorting out his messes or reassuring him. All of you are suffering so that one person can be selfish and needy and put drugs before all of your needs.

He has seizures because of the drug abuse and the 'lump', if it exists, is probably an infection as drug abuse does mess with your immune system; as does HIV.

You all need to follow through with this however much he manipulates you by using words such as cancer or by saying he is homeless. Do not answer the phone, block him on social media sites and don't answer the door to him. He can call that hotline again and get professional help.

No addict will give up their poison if they don't want to. No-one can change him or save him until he hits rock bottom and begs for help. At this point he is not cured and you stay away. Only once he has been through rehab and detoxed and had counselling can you see him again.

You can't trust an addict so you need confirmation from a cousellor or social worker who has worked with him. DO NOT reward him for going getting clean. Staying clean is harder than getting clean and you can so easily all fall back into your old roles.

This is why recovering addicts are encouraged to move away and leave their old lives behind. He should be the making up for the harm he's done and you don't reward someone for getting off drugs.

You all need to wake up and realise that he is not a child or a vulnerable adult or mentally ill. You are all helping a man kill himself and running around in circles in the process. What is wrong in your own life that you're avoiding by concentrating on this one person? Are you depressed or lonely? If you feel compelled to care you will be made very welcome as a volunteer at a hospice or hospital. Please don't waste your life.

Best wishes, A x

PS It makes no difference if he is mentally unwell - he knows where to get help. You will probably find that his psychosis will pass when he is clean. I know you're trying to do the best for him but he won't change unless you do. Google "friends and family of addicts" and see the range of support and advice there is for you in your country. There are forums and support groups where you can all learn how to help him as well as get emotional support for yourselves.

Please look after yourself, A x