Do I have a right to privacy in this situation?

[Future Mrs. Hayes]

Well, it all depends.

Are you trustworthy? Do you get into trouble at school often? Are you falling behind in school? Have you ever gotten into trouble with the law? If any of these answers is yes, then no, you do not deserve privacy (except for the school one - that should be coupled with something else, since there are several reasons kids fall behind in school). When you're getting yourself into trouble and leading yourself down the wrong road, she has every right to interfere so that you do not end up in even worse trouble.

However, if you do fairly well with things - you stay out of trouble for the most part at school, your grades are fair, you've never been in trouble with the law and tend to stay away from illegal substances - then there is no reason for her to need your passwords, and you DO deserve privacy. You give up that right to privacy when you decide to get into serious trouble, but if you're doing well, then she's the wrong one here. Your mother does NOT trust you. My mother has never and would never ask for my passwords. My dad asked for my Facebook password once, but I told him that was an interferance of privacy, so what we did was this - He made an account as well and made me add him. That way, he can see whether I'm doing anything classless, but he can't read through my personal messages or change anything. Just because you are 15 does not mean that privacy does not exist for you.

About a year or so ago, when I was either 15 or 16, my dad went into my room to dump out my trash can. He found a notebook I'd written things in that I'd thrown away, and took it out of my trash can to save in my room. I found it when I went in his drawer (with him sitting there) to find some nail clippers. I recognized it and asked him why he had it, and he said he thought he might like to read it someday. I told him that it was an invasion of privacy, that I wrote my thoughts and feelings down in there, things I'd written to vent or to let things out, and that if I'd wanted to tell him, I wouldn't have written it into a hidden notebook. I pretty much keep on the straight and narrow, aside from the usual occasional bad grade or not doing something when he says, so he told me just to go ahead and throw it out, and that he wouldn't take it again.

You are your mother's daughter. You are not her property. You do not belong to her. Your thoughts and personal feelings are for you and you alone; You decide what to do with them. It is true that she makes your decisions for you until you are 18, but that should exclude deciding whether you even get to have your own thoughts. If there's one thing that should belong to a child, it is her thoughts, feelings, and opinions.

Your mother has already shown you that she cannot properly handle your small problems by inserting herself into you and your friend's argument - that was not her place. You are 15 and will be getting a job soon. You are also in high school. You need to learn how to resolve things with people on your own. She cannot hold your hand throughout life and solve everything for you. You must learn to do it yourself. You are 15, not 5. You know enough to be able to have a conversation with someone and resolve disagreements. If she cannot let you do this, then she is too overbearing.

Talk to a counselor. Maybe they can suggest a way to get through to your mother.