Should my husband allow me access to his passwords for email/facebook accounts?

[~leaving traces~]

I am just now getting out of an almost 12 year marriage that includes similiar behaviors, minus the drugs. My husband is severely addicted to porn, got on dating services, chats, had email flings with people, withholding sex from me, and tried to manipulate and to control me and who knows what else I'm not aware of until finally I decided that by not doing anything about this, I am a.) Sentencing myself to a life of hell by staying and b.) enabling him to do it to me because I'm not giving him consequences. It has been utter hell because I really have loved him with all of my heart. The best indicator of future behavior is repetitive past behavior. Take off the blinders. Stop making excuses for him to yourself, and what do you see? I think you know. If you can't trust him, you don't need him. That's what I've finally come to realize. Now, my husband is making comments that he's going to lose me, and that it's all his fault, and all of the things I have tried to tell him would make me leave if he did not change fell on deaf ears until I'm finally doing something, and I am FORCING myself to move forward, because I will NOT let someone treat me like this anymore. I have ONE life and to live it in pain, agony, distrust, and be hurt by the person who's supposed to love me the most is unacceptable. Change is scary, but sometimes a necessary evil. I have two feelings about access to his accounts. 1.) I think everyone needs something that is 'just theirs'. A space of their own. A little privacy. 2.) I think if he has nothing to hide he wouldn't care if you had access, AND 3.) I think that if you're that desperate to know what he's doing all the time because you don't trust him then it's time to think of who YOU are becoming and CHANGE it. You deserve someone to love you, be faithful to you, be honest with you, and do right by you. If he can't, then don't try to change him into someone he isn't, because you'll only end up hurt in the end and lose years of your life (like I did) by waiting on a miracle to take place and for him to "grow up and get what's really important and STOP". He's shown you what he's all about. The ball is in your court now. Deal with it, or get out of it. It's that simple, and hard at the same time I know...but life is short and you need to think about how your spending this precious gift (life) that has been placed in your hands. He's not worth it.