I really want to change, but is it even possible?

[Thomas]

Yes. Change is possible.

In fact, you have already changed comparing to the past you.

Realizing that you need a change is actually the first step.

You have even further taken action to seek help from a hospital.

Changes happen everyday, however it may not be as drastic/ sudden...change will take some time...

Don't be discourage if your bad habit/ disorder repeat itself. Treat it like a mistake that we want to avoid and learn from.

Learn from each mistake and try our best not to repeat.

Most important thing is self-awareness. Be aware of your thoughts and actions at all time.

Understand yourself but I am not asking you to judge yourself. Just aware and understand.

Find out what bothers you the most resulting you to react in such a way.

Normally we react without thinking/processing. The reaction is immediate like a self defensive mechanism, which we regret later.

Train yourself to be self-aware and whenever you have such thoughts/stimulation, move yourself away...stop exploding like a robot..choose what to react and be a master of yourself.

This change will take time. Be patient...be aware of your thoughts...don't judge/disgust by them...just watch them...and choose to react/ not react according to your own judgement...

With this, you have already changed to be a master of yourself.