What is wrong with me for him to leave for someone else?

[Erin]

Oh honey... you are so so wrong about what's wrong with you. There is NOTHING wrong with the way you look, there is nothing wrong with the kind of girlfriend you are, there is nothing wrong with your intelligence, or your big heart.

Really, there's only one thing wrong with you, and that is: your willingness to put up with guys who treat you badly. Your ex boyfriend is emotionally abusive, and you do NOT deserve to be treated that way. He is the one who has some terrible things wrong....he doesn't know how to love, he doesn't know how to control his impulsiveness, and he doesn't know how to treat women with respect.

You're not going to believe me... because girls like you always have to learn the heard way.... you have to be in crappy relationships with guys who treat you badly and break your heart (or your face) over and over for a decade or two before you finally get help and figure out that you're worth so much more than that. You also won't believe me when I tell you that you are so much better off without him. And that you are strong enough to be on your own until you meet a guy who respects you and treats you right.

But you could save yourself YEARS of heartache if you face the heartache and the grief... as hard as it is, do NOT ever talk to this guy again. And within a few weeks or months when you start to feel better, do some soul searching....maybe talk to a counselor...figure out some strategies for assessing what men are worth your time and attention and what men arent. Raise your standards, and vow to never put up with this kind of treatment again.

Good luck to you. I hope that you find the strenghth to be alone for awhile, and that when you decided to be in another relationship, you make the courageous choice to be with somebody good and decent, and never settle for less.