Where do I stand with my ex?

[Smartass Italian]

Her and I broke up last June, things just got bad for a while. I was jealous, she was insecure, we were starting to fight and argue more than we were enjoying our time together and things got really bad and we had a fallout. We tried the "just being friends" route for a while and I felt I was being lead on, as she was continually flirting with me but pulled that classic "I just want to be single for a while" crap with me. I had enough and said the wrong things in a drunken stupor to the wrong mutual friends and one went back and told her to get her to hate me, so he could have a shot with her. Well she used him as a rebound and dumped him not long after, and from what I saw, she was never happy with this guy, in fact she appeared to be depressed and bored out of her mind. The guy that stabbed me in the back to get with her gained nothing but making an enemy of me. But me and her had a worse fallout because of this and I felt more betrayed. We had a very bad argument and we didn't speak for 4 months.

After those months, she emailed me and apologized for everything, admitted she was wrong and felt bad about things that were said and done. I asked her about the guy she out with after and she said he begged her daily to be with him and she felt bad and gave in and never cared for him (which I clearly saw was true) and regrets ever giving him a chance. I was hesitant but we started talking slowly. Weeks passed, we talked more and more and started growing closer and she started opening up to me, flirting with me again, telling me personal things, sharing secrets, wanting to spend more and more time talking to me and everything. I was confused, emotionally so I took a shot at it and asked where we stood and she said she wanted to be single because of college and what was going on in her life and did not want a relationship right now. Right. This was well over a month ago she said this. Since that time, she has flirted with me more and more, not dated anyone since she dumped that last guy in september or so, appears to have no interest in anyone else and she is really close to me in many aspects.

Now lately girls have been flirting with me on my facebook wall, and she comes to me and asks "Who the **** is this girl??" and gets really jealous of these girls. She will kind of stalk their profile and do homework on them, looking at their pictures and what they have said to me and then started insulting them. Any girl that comments or likes too many posts or pictures, she questions and I am not sure what she did, but a few girls that have gotten closer to me, she managed to scare away and they won't even speak to me. Lately she wants to talk in nearly all of her free time, spend time with me, laughing, flirting, video chatting on Skype, yeah LIKE A RELATIONSHIP. I am really confused here. This feels like we are dating again, we are doing everything a couple does and I won't bother bringing up relationship matters again and won't ask her out again for fear of rejection. And the weirdest part, a friend of mine that does not like her commented on my wall and referred to her as my "retarded girlfriend" and she did not deny it. I raised an eyebrow and brought it up to her to make sure she was aware of it, and said "a few friends refer to you as my retarded girlfriend" and she said "why am I retarded??" not even denying the "girlfriend" part. What is the deal with that? I wonder exactly what is she thinking and feeling towards her and I and where does it appear I stand with her? My good friend said to ask her out again but I am afraid she will reject me again and I will be hurt and things may get awkward again. What should I do and what exactly appears to be happening here?
Oh yes, Ivy League Swimmer, I forgot to mention her uncle did just die and she took it hard. I am sure that had something to do with her feelings as well and why she is not willing to get into a relationship. That and starting a new college, maybe it all got to be too much for her at the time.