Depressed, please help how to escape strict, controlling family?

[Anna L.]

Please, any advice or help you can give me will be very appreciated. I am very lost. I am sorry this will be a long post, but I try to make you understand my situation.

I come from a very stereotypical, strict Asian family. Obedience and family has always been very stressed. My two older sisters and my stepdad are very controlling. My mom has mellowed with age but now it is my sister who is sometimes emotionally abusive, calls me stupid, retarded, and has pushed me to suicidal tendencies sometimes. But sometimes, they show that they do care and are just looking out for me. So I feel guilty sometimes for resenting them when there are people in worse home situations.

They are all pushing me to go through college for my science degree and go to dentistry school like my sisters did. They discouraged me when I said I'd like to become a teacher instead. Everyone in my family is fully dependent on my stepdad, who pays for everything-my mom's rent where I live with her, and my sisters' allowances and rent while they are in dental school. So I have only $400 saved up from various allowances if I decide to just leave home.

But I have reached a point where I cannot stand living here under my family's influence. I am not allowed to go out or have friends, or even volunteer to spend time away from the house. My car is my mom's, paid by my stepdad. They just want me to stay at home and focus on school every single day. I don't know if I can keep living like this without going crazy or suicidal. I have two options: leave home with just my $400 and try to get a low level job bagging groceries or such. I have no work experience. I might find shelters to stay at, but I believe shelters for women are only for those from abusive relationships or with children. I don't know if I count.

My second option is to tough it out, stay 2-3 more years to finish my science degree and try to get a job as a teacher. I will have to lie to my family about applying to dentistry school. It will be miserable. I will continue to not have any social life or go out. I am also not really sure about continuing to rely on my stepdad for 3 more years, only to tell him that I am not following his plans for me.

Please, I am not sure what to do. Any advice would help. I have hit a low point and I have no friends to find support from...Thank you.
@Kathleen Hey, thank you for replying. It is kind of..relieving to know I'm not alone. If you don't mind, yes, I'd love to be able to contact you through email just to talk to someone who may understand.
I have tried to talk about my sister and my stepdad about my desire to have a different career, and my depression, but they just could not understand why I would want a "low-paying, stupid" career. Their words, not mine. They also do not really believe in depression as they said they do not understand why I am depressed, that I should be able to "forget" about my depression if I just keep focusing on school...So I absolutely will not have their support on this...