I'm really depressed and I want to die.......?

[Amy]

I'm 17 years old and I've been depressed for many years... I've NEVER been truely happy since I was 10 years old. Secondary school was HELL and it's scarred me. (I won't go into details)

I'm an ugly, boring, unfunny person with no friends and no social life. I'm at home ALL of the time unless I want to go down town with my Mum or help her with things around the house. I'm SO sick of it. And please please PLEASE don't say 'Go to a club' or something! It doesn't help. No one wants to speak with me... I get so upset when I see other people on Facebook with their friends in pictures having the time of their lives etc. I always think 'Why can't I be like them?' 'Why can't I be normal like them?' 'Why am I such an annoying awkward moron?'

I hate myself... I like NOTHING about myself. I'm ugly, nearly overweight (although I think I'm fat anyways) I look absolutely TERRIBLE in pictures. I have a fat nose with crappy brown eyes... Pale white skin because I don't go out hardly... Although I don't seem to tan when I'm out when it's hot anyways...

I even pretend to be someone else online so I feel better about myself. It's like I'm in a different world and in that world I'm a very social, funny and happy person. I know I'm really pathetic for pretending to be someone else. I don't use their name, I make it up. I only use their pictures. I also don't give people bad reputation or anything or go around insulting people on this fake profile. I'm not like that at all.... I only do this to TRY make myself feel better... It only works temporarily until I step back into reality... I've been suicidal for AGES. Everyone thinks I'm just looking for attention or sympathy but TRUST ME I'M NOT. Since my life is worthless and has no purpose then what is the POINT in living? I don't see any.......... My future will be the same as it is now. Sat at home all the time doing nothing, no friends, no social-life, nothing. Not even a job because I just don't want to work. I get extremely nervous around people anyways. I'm not even interested in anything anymore.. Not even the playstation games I used to play... I just want to kill myself. I'm a stupid failure and a burden to this world..........