What happened to my Facebook? My friends and pics are deleted!?

[Michael]

Data Mining.

Ever since you created your facebook account, you've been pumping it full of information. Pictures, videos, status updates, comments, friends... basically enough detail for facebook to know who you are.

Why do they do this? The same reason the government invented the internet in the first place. To gather enough information from everybody in order to subjugate and quietly control the masses. Once that is accomplished, they can begin phase two.

Which is the integration of all human beings into one collective consciousness.

Which means you are in very real danger. They already have enough information from you. They know who you are, who you were, and exactly who you will be. Your account is no longer needed, and they have deleted it to make room for another.

It's ok, I can help you. I have accessed your facebook account (not hard really, used the email attached to your answers username to look up the facebook account associated with that email), and have found an underground movement in your area. Here's what you need to do.

Don't pack anything. Take only the clothes on your body. It should look like you disappeared. On October 1st, at precisely 10:23 PM, you need to walk in to the closest McDonalds. Serving at the counter will be a slightly tall man named "Lamarr." He will ask, "can I help you?". Say nothing. Then he ask, "Uh, what are you going to order?" to which you will reply, "Purple Fire." Lamarr will then lead you to the underground movement, and they will take care of you there.

Godspeed.