13 female...... depression?

[Karina]

Im 13. Female. I hate life so much. Just want to die. I feel so hopeless lile nothing can help me. Feel like no one loves me. Dont even want to get out of bed every morning. Cry more than i should. I cry over nothing. I cry over everything. I used to do horse back riding and softball. I stopped doing horse back but my mother is making me do softball even thouh i dont like it anymore. My dad died when i was 2 from suicide. I dont feel the need to live anymore. My grades arent bad though. I dont really try in school but i still have A's and B's. I dont even like hanging out with my friends as much as i used to. I dont actually cut. But i do cut but i dont let it bleed but it does rip the skin ablnd scar for a little while. I dont really have anyone i can talk to besides my neighbor and i have already talked to her about my feeling s hut i didnt tell her about the cutting. Im so lonely even when im surrounded by people. Im over weight. Sometines i just cant stop eating. I hate life and want to die. I have thought about suicide. I talk to a counselor but i havnt really told her much. I hate it though. So i want to die so bad. Main questions
1. What is depression
2. Do i have it
3. If not whats going on