My husband give money away before talking to me.?

[Cathy]

My husband has better income than me. I made like 1/4 of what he made. A while ago, he was on his business trip for 3 months. While he was on the trip, we called or text or Skype each other everyday. Recently, I found out that he gave this female friend if his a cash wedding gift (about 250$) without even mentioned it to me. I also found out about this conversation between him and her on yahoo messenger history, basically about how she marry and she suggested that she want a gift from him, he also brag about how successfully he is. I beat around the bush, ask him who is this female friend, he said, they go way back, never date though, she around 8 years younger than him. Mind you that we are burying in 150K of debt to different banks due to open a business and buying new house. There are so many things I can do with this 250$. I haven't go to the salon, do my nails or buy a new shirt in like months, why this friend of his have that privilege over me? Immediately I felt betrayed, shocked. The feeling is indescribable, like someone shoot me in the chest. I feel hollow. Am I wrong to feel this way? Clearly I know there is nothing between them, I checked. They haven't contact ever since he gave her that money. But why do I feel this way. What should I do? How do I bring it up without him knowing that I snooped around. He has been a very good husband, never cheat on me. He gave full access to all of his accounts (banks, email, twitter, ...). I feel like I can't trust him any longer. I need help, I cant tell this to anyone. I bottle it all inside and it killing me. I appreciate all the help I can get, but I don't believe in mean, ugly answers. Thanks
1.Get better job, easier said than done, consider how many people are jobless nowadays.
2. I never said my husband is bad husband. Feeling is feeling I cant control that. However I make sure nobody know about it until I get the right answer. You must not read my entire post then why even bother to answer.
3. I can go to a salon if I want to, but I chose not to since that is not the priority.
4. Ignorant comment is not welcome.