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what should i do? ten points?
02-28-2013, 11:21 AM
Post: #1
what should i do? ten points?
Hi, i have social anxiety and depression. I believe the social anxiety came from all the years ive been bullied, especially at my highschool which i have been in for 2 years going on three. It's come to the point where i dont even speak to anyon except my very close friends and family, even if someone will talk to me i wont answer back and think im being rude. If im in a car at night and people are walking on the path ill turn my head so they dont see me, and today it took my sister half an hour to get me to go into our own pool in fear of people across the back of my street seeing me. My mum died of cancer when i was ten and i have been self harming for 3 years and i cant stop. I relapsed last night and now i really dont know what to do. I never got grief counselling and when i went to the school counsellor for help she saw me and my friends for about 2 weeks then refused and even hid to see us because of what someone must have told the deputy principal which is just as bad as the students. I went to the deputy principal to tell her about a girl emotionally and physically bullying me and she imediatly said '' No, go away you are wasting my time, go and tell the year advisor because im only dealing with important things alright girls? Dont waste my time.'' I dropped it and didnt bother tellign the year advisors because they dont do anything.
Ive changed so much, ive went from having A grades to around medium to low ones because icant concentrate with the things in my head and all the students yelling and throwing things at me. Im 14 and i only have 2 friends, my best friend whom i trusted with my life had to change schools.
I am over everything. Im over helping my friends and then them using me and insulting me in return and going behind my back and saying things about me. Im sick of feeling like im about to pass out when im doing p.e because of my anxiety attacks that i get, but because im basically mute i dont tell anyone that i get them and i get so angry and frustrated i feel like killing myself every day.
Im on holidays and the disorders of cours ehavnt left, but i feel a little lightened because theres no stress and not as much anxiety as ther eis when im at school. My dad doesnt know any of this and i dont know what to do, i want to be homeschooled, so so badly. Ive already been to 5 different schools, i just want to stay home, and then if i did id probably get the courage to ask for therapy. How do i convince my dad to let me get homeschooled? What do you think i should do other than ''slit my wrists or kill myself'', im not ready to die because of what other people want yet, so what do you think i should do?

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Messages In This Thread
what should i do? ten points? - Katie - 02-28-2013 11:21 AM
[] - All Aces - 02-28-2013, 11:27 AM
[] - UniqueGirl - 02-28-2013, 11:28 AM
[] - Earth - 02-28-2013, 11:32 AM
[] - Tiff - 02-28-2013, 11:37 AM

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