You ever feel ticked at a friend because they minimize your problems and then capitalize on their own?

[Cinnamon]

I have a friend who I have been friends with for 15 years. We know each other well.

Well in gemeral.neither of us is the type to sit around and complain about our problems usually we talk about what we've been up to on a positive note, usually.

Well in general her life is kinda cruddy in regard to her mom being irresponsible and co dependent on her, who she doesnt cut off due too having teen brothers she is considering, and then she has a sis who an emotional basket case. I definetly see and recognize her stresses they are evident. When she previously lived with her mom to help her she would often come to my house to get a break and vaguely vent I was always happy for the company and to listen and rarely ever solcite advice based on I think its not my place. Other then that I am often listening to her talk about her social life (I dont really have as active a social life as she does basd on having kids and such, so I am happy to listen).

Well more recent the tables turned a bit and I went to her home and vented about some problems about my hubby and I. She literally changed the subject and was somewhat dismissive and rude pretty much aluding to how I don't have her magnitude of problems so some how mine aren't valid is how I felt. Not to sound rude but she is kinda a spinster type by her own declaration and int the most fortunate but some how I feel thats refelcted on me sometimes. She was kinda saying well at least this and at least that, I almost felt like she was trying to talk me into a bad situation cuz she doesnt want me on the market or something (I know sounds crazy). So I left with all my baggage but also feeling unheard or not relevant. But let it go. Cuz I was dealing with my other stuff.

Well then tonight a few days later I call her because we had plans tomorrow we needed to line up. My timing was skmply bad and she started unloading that in itself wasnt so horrible but then she started saying no body else our age has to carry their mother and sis and bros along the way and shes gotta.listen to all them other people whine when they are fortunate to have their own lives. Her tone was rude and I was pretty quite.

I feel kind of hurt. I feel she brushed my stuff off and minimized it. And then not only unloaded and vented about her stuff but used in comparison. All the while in general I am usually an ear and curtious.

It just almost seems that she is measuring who has merit in valid feelings based on who is most unfortunate. Are my feelings not valid just because I am not as hard up as her? Especially when its very rare I even speak about troubles.

Bummed I feel shes being selfish and rude maybe I am fortunate and have no claim in complaint tho when someones worse off then me. But considering the pendulum I think I should have the opportunity to express dis satisfaction and strife too. Everyone has problems not just her.
You are right Twin. I have mislabeled its become more and more clear. Mistook history and candid memories for two sided friendship.

Thanks Mabe.

Hydrabad good advice on meeting people who identify with me and I identyfy with more.

Thanks everyone else too good advice.