Writers: How would you feel about these things?

[Iratetramp389]

1) People started a Team [Your character] or Team [Your other character].
Amused, though it's best if to stay away from all this "Team" business if I value my sanity.

2) Started comparing your book to their favorite book in the whole wide world: Twilight.
I'd hide in my closet and have a long, good cry of shame.

3) Started calling themselves Mrs. [Your character's name].
I'd wonder what made those fans think my characters are "date-able" (or marry-able, rather). There is barely any romance in my story and that's including the hints of a crush between two characters. Either way, this isn't something I'd worry over. Let the fans have their fun, they aren't hurting anybody yet...are they?

4) Started being mean and belligerent to anyone who trashed your book.
Oh dear. I'd be dismayed and disappointed. It's only a book, there is no need for this situation to result in blows.

5) Started pestering you about when the next book in your series will come out even though you JUST finished this one.
I'd stop replying, simple as that.

6) Started leaving awesomely fantastic reviews about your book anywhere they can, but along the lines of "OMG [Your character's name] is sooo hot. You have to read this book. It's sooo good."
I'd feel dismayed and perhaps a little let down to know that my fans care more about my characters' looks than the actual writing itself.

7) Started being mean and belligerent to anyone who said bad things about your character.
Same way I'd feel about fans who are mean to people who trash my book - dismayed and disappointed.
Well, I've been using the word "dismayed," a lot, haven't I?

8) Created a Twitter account and posted as your character.
I wouldn't mind. Maybe I'd read some of their posts out of curiosity.

9) Created a PARODY Twitter account and made fun of your character.
Read some of their posts out of curiosity. Darn...I am a curious girl, aren't I?

10) Started asking around for your real address.
Aaaugh, stalkers. They're everywhere. At least they don't actually KNOW my address and it's unlikely someone will give it to them...

11) Started showing up at EVERY reading, book signing, or public appearance you make.
I would feel creeped out and wonder if they've been Google-stalking my whereabouts.

12) Said they wished your character was their boyfriend because he's more real than any real-life boy.
On the outside: Give my best attempt at keeping a straight face, nod, and say, "All right, dear. But remember, he/she is only a fictional character,"
On the inside: "Oh dear, I am getting a little worried here."

13) Said they dreamed and thought about your character every day.
I'd raise one eyebrow, put on a confused expression, and say, "Oh really? Is that true?" while hiding the fact that I'm a little worried too...

14) Said they cried because their friends talked badly about your book.
Quite exasperated, but I'd lay one hand on their shoulder and say, "Don't worry, [insert fan's name]. Your friends are entitled to their own opinions, right? There's nothing to worry about"

15) Waited in an hour-long line that progressed around the bookstore's corner at midnight waiting for the release of your book, and they also stood in line tearing up over it.
Flattered, yet creeped out at the same time.

16) Asked where they can read or download the book for free.
"I'm sure you can buy a copy at the local bookstore,"