"fb friend" wants to be phone buddies.please help.?

[Billie]

Chatting on an internet site is one thing, talking on the phone is totally something really different, for a start its more challenging and puts more pressure on two people, so I fully understand where your coming from. Plus phone calls are going to be costly especially if they end up going on for hours.

I say email her and use words to these effects or perhaps points to point out to her :-

FB is something I can use and give my full time and attention to, whereas a phone call will inhibit something I may be doing at that time. (after all the phone takes away the choice and freedom of watching telly instead, or getting prepared for the next day at college or work). Plus if someone comes around. Phones are more intruding.

Phone calls can be off putting, because the conversation has to be more precise. You have to give answers there and then often without the timely leisure of really thinking out the answer. For example two good friends are not always going to be wanting to sit and talk deeply and openly all the time they are together, whereas using fb you can set your mind to that better relaxed level.

Point out that fb against phone calls give her the real deep you, your more willing to open up and say how you really feel in writing rather than words. Tell her you accept she maybe a phone person but you are not. Like I keep saying phone calls can be too intrusive at times. Someone knocks on your door, phone calls can be more off putting.

Finish by telling her you enjoy and value the way things are on fb and that right now you prefer to keep it that way.

Personally I think she is wanting to move things up one step - her idea of you using the phone gives her the excuse to invite you out, even if that is just as a friend, but it sounds to me that she is wanting to meet you in the flesh and wants to take things further than perhaps your ready to take them, and I think deep down you know or suspect this, and this is what is making you hesitant.

Try and make it simple precise and to the point, and not give the impression this is the way you'd prefer it, its the way its got to be right now. Phoning and talking verbally is a way of getting to know a person a bit more, whereas behind these internet sites, we can hide our true feelings if that is what we want, or make out we are what they want us to be - phoning is too direct if your not ready.

Hope my thoughts help, but just tell her ' sorry but no, your happy to continue with fb, but don't want to be tied down by the phone. The problem really is that right now you find a phone call too intrusive, and frankly so would I. Its not rejection, its just being open and honest, so tell her.