I'm too quiet and therefore boring?

[Leah]

I can relate to this so much. I was exactly like that when I was in year 10. I was quiet, plain, and unpopular. I'm 16 now, I've still got social anxiety. Do you feel the need to please people just to be liked or maybe not be yourself. In group of friends, they were all best friends with eachother, except for me. I just had to kinda watch as they linked arms or spoke about their upcoming days to the cinema. I couldn't relate to any of them. One was quite rough, and spoke about her s3x experiences, one never made sense when she spoke, like I felt out of place. I thought nobody liked my personality, and I'm a very ambitious girl. It's hard having such a big, amusing personality like yourself, but no one seems to like it or take notice. This made me feel worthless. I did the same as you, do favours to please people. You shouldn't do this too often, because they will see you as an easy target and think 'Aw she'll go anything' You need to show your personality. But you can take it in small steps. I don't expect you to go to school and all of a sudden be confident, it takes time. What are your hobbies? Mine are acting and dancing. What I like doing is turning a bit of 'Show me how you burlesque' and dancing to that, it gives me confidence. You say people find you 'amusing'' Why. What do you do that makes you so '!' ?Instead, ask other people for favours.If you're asking a boy and he refuses just say 'Don't be a nob now ..(say his nickname) for example, if his name is Jamie , call him Jame) This will show a bit of playfulness, that you're not all quiet, and it will make you feel confident too. If you overhear a group of girls , and you hear something you can relate to, say 'Oh is that..? or I know that, isn't..' Those girls will see that you're socialable, and not the quiet girl you're seen as. Make regular facebook status's, but not like 10 a day. Get true but funny quotes which will earn you likes, here's a funny one 'Girls wearing 'GEEK' tops but failing BTEC level 1 hair and beauty.' -Also on facebook, comment on someones photo 'Pretty x ' or 'love your dress!x' This again shows you're not the quiet girl as such. Confidence can increase with image. I used to have my hair in a ponitail, using jel, water and like a 1000 clips! I was strict . But look on tutorials on Youtube, due your hair a darker, lighter or a different colour, (people will notice) makeup, maybe use a bit more mascara, or use liquid eyeliner, i use it ( I recommend doing one with a bit of a tail) Throughout year 11, i felt alot more confident. Keep asking people favours. With Social anxiety, it is hard. It is.In a conversation with your friends, or 'friends' maybe explain that you've got it, so theyre more understanding. Try expanding a convo instead of saying 'Yeah' M, Oh cool' If a friend teases you, don't be afraid to tell them 'Stop it ...!you're bloody annoying you! (so it's not too mean and not too jokey) Remember to smile, you don't know who's looking at that beautiful smile, girl:)If you don't understand a piece of work, ask the person next to you say 'Do you get that?' & when they explain say 'Aw so that means..' and then after say 'Aw you're a lege' (legend) ' or 'Aw thanks' with a nice smile. Is there a guy you like at school? Give him regular eye contact, give a slight smile if he looks. This let's him know you like him. In class, don't be afraid to put your hand up. I'm in college now, and in school I hated it, but now I absolutely miss it! I wish I could go back and do all things I've told you. They're the things i wish I had done. Make the most of your time at school, it's precious. Really. Make yourself a someone! They're quite mixed up, but I hope they all help I will look out for your name if you need any other help with socialisation, as I can relate to it alot
I wish you all the best!
Leah xxx