Pretending to be a girl, Feeling, depress, lost....?

[Tony]

I feel I need to get this out of my chest. It all begun a year ago when I started to make a twitter account to talk to other people about TV shows & animes who has the same interest & hobbies. As a guy, no one really talked to me, so I pretended to be a girl. It didn't take long for lots of people to start talking to me. Being alone & suffering depression my whole life, I quite enjoyed the new found attention. I'm socially awkward, & find it hard to talk to people in real life let alone making friends. I feel that being online is the only escape for me, & to feel accepted even though I'm pretending to be a girl. It's the only way I can freely express myself without being judged. :/

Not long after I met these two girls. One is from German & the other is from Switzerland. All three of us met via twitter & started talking a lot, due to the same interest & hobbies we've shared. I even made a facebook account to join them to talk more via facebook inbox. I told them that I was a hairdresser, I used a random picture of a really attractive girl with purple hair I found on the net, & use that picture as the identity of my online girl persona. It's been one year already, & I have grown really closed to them. They have always been there for, listening to my stories and making me laugh, smile, & bring me a joy of friendship that I haven't experienced in a really long time. I really care & love them as friends. But at the same time I feel very guilty & awful lying to them about my identity. It's eating me up deeply in the inside, but I cannot bring myself to tell them the truth. They have trusted me so much to open up about their personal life. As a guy, they would never tell me such things or open up. It's gotten to the point where I can't even function normal without them. I truly care for them & don't want to hurt their feelings in any way. i don't want to leave them. I wish I could be the friend the great girl they think I am. >_<

I don't know what to do anymore :/

[Digi]

Wow... You're stuck!
That is one of the hardest questions ever!

[Harpreet]

First of all u made a big mistake but when i look at other side means from your side.i don't think u did anything wrong.i also have this problem little bit.you need to mix up with peoples of our society and talk to them confidently.better way to increase your self esteem is assume you are best in the world.offer handshake to people you know or you u know little bit.try to involve in conversations as much as you can.i know its difficult but you should starts it slowly.and best way to got out of your sociel media matter/problem is permanently close your fake twitter and facebook account.and make a real fb/twitter accounts and try to do friendship with them on your real account i hope they become friends in your real account.hope this will you.gud luck.

[Derpina]

hey dude! you are scared to take a risk. what if it turns out to be a failure? just go ahead in life. start a life. join some classes which you like. your personality will take time to develop but it will grow but for that you have to take the first step and that is very important for you. go beyond the internet. it will take time but it will happen automatically. try talking to people you are comfortable with and make friends with them whatever type, old, small, etc. first it will be difficult for you but you don't realise that once you face the failure and fear in you then you are on top. get out of the house.. go for morning walks.. some people will get to know you if you go everyday. just 'smile' to the people you see everyday. make plans about your future of what you want to become and do that. but you taking a step is very important.