SHOULD I JUST TELL HIM THAT I CAN'T DATE HIM? HOW TO DO IT RIGHT?

[Lovelygal]

So, I met this one guy and we went out on a date. The next day I wrote him that I see him just as a friend. Later that week, we talked about the date and he told me that he liked me a lot, but backed off when he got the message from me-- to just be friends. I was kind of emotional when I talked to him and told him that I like him too but that I didn't think he was meant for me, etc. I felt like I had some feelings for him but it seemed like it would be hard to be just friends with feelings for someone. But at the same time being a nice girl I felt like I liked him because he liked me. ugh, right? i'm not ready for a relationship either. So I overreacted and wrote him a message saying I can't be friends with him and that I dont' want him to contact me anymore and I want him to erase me from everything too--phone, facebook, etc. So, I thought that was the way to go...but it bothered me. It was too harsh and I couldn't live with that. I got a reply from him on that message last week and last night i replied back and told him that I overreacted and it was my fault along with being stressed out with my life right now. I think I put him through a ride lol.

So, he reasked me again where do we stand..and I told him friends. He then asks me, if there's a possibility for more than friends. He suggested we go on more dates w/o the pressure of being in a relationship but trying to figure out if it could lead to a relationship. He told me I'm a great girl and would like to take me ice skating if I'm up to it. He's an outgoing, friendly person and I'm the opposite--introverted w/o friends. I just want someone to hang out with w/o getting affectionate or leading someone on. I'm pretty sure that on the 2nd date he would show more signs of affection--like holding hands and I'll freak out or something. I just don't see myself going on that level or returning the feelings. Knowing that he's a guy and likes me, I find it would be difficult for us to just hang out together as friends unless in a group. I told him that I'm not ready for a relationship, and he's like...it doesn't have to be right away. I'm like 100% not ready for any kind of relationship other than friendship

[native c]

Say Bye, Bye!

[Hannah]

go to the date with him and then maybe go get a coffee. when you first get there tell him that you're there as friends only. when you have the coffee or whatever explain to him why are you doing to this. i am sure he will be appreciative that you went out and understand

[SGM]

As soon as you said you want to stay friends, he instantly thought that if he just waited long enough you would change your mind.

He is going to continually hit at going out again and again. If you don't completely cut him off now, he will keep asking you out. He cannot accept the fact that you would want to stay only friends with him. A guy's brain doesn't work like that.

To most guys, staying friends means "Eventually, she will date me."

Now you know that staying friends means you are leading him on from this point.