Was she a Real friend, or, out to make me look bad?

[elizabeth]

I had a friend in my life, (close to my same age), - I'm 39, she's 43, we both have young children - mine's 2 year's younger than hers. She was the sales rep who sold my ex husband and I the home we're living in. We got to be close friends, - initially through Facebook, - she used to 'like' all my statuses and one night I found myself with an xtra concert ticket and invited her.

That was 2 years ago. Our friendship developed slowly and we got closer this last year.

She's shared information about her Rocky marriage with me and I've shared lots of stories and personal info on all my dating experiences since my divorce, - many of which, have been quite disappointing.

She remembers (I'm sure) about how overweight I was after I had my son (around the time we bought our house), - around 40 pounds heavier than my former self. I lost All the weight and then some at the gym. She lost weight too after her son was born (more slowly than I did), she's a beautiful woman though and looks great at any size - I've always thought.

I'll try to make a long story shorter. Around a year I go, I started dating a Dentist long distance who was a friend of a friend, I always put my hopeful boyfriends on my Facebook and keep up with them this way.

When I put on a status once last year, - checked in at the Colorado Aiport, she put "Good Luck! Colleen" on my stat update. I thought it was on odd posting. You? I left it, didn't think much of it.

She's a Facebook junkie and I went to her son's BDay party, during that time, she asked me, "Are you still dating that Dentist?" - things weren't going that well at that time, I remember feeling uncomfortable but I brought her up to date.

She posted a Horrible photo of me from the party. I of course, untagged it. I am very picky about my FB photos.

Since this time, she's been interested to hear about all my dating experiences, we go out with her friends mostly (she's from here), - I've only been living here a short time, to concerts, etc and even though I feel I'm quite attractive, she'd always manage to get the most awful photos of me (with her standing next to me looking much better) and tag me in them.

I would always just un-tag myself and not say anything.

Last Saturday, though, she invited me and my other single girlfriend (who I think she's interested in becoming friends with), to a party and at that party. I was wearing a tight, Black Pencil skirt, showing off my legs and she mentioned loudly to me at the party, like 5 times that I'm the "Skinniest" girl at the party.

She insisted upon taking photos again as usual and made Christie and I stand in front of the fireplace to pose and as we were walking towards it she joked about how I always 'untag' my photos and that I *Need to get my hair out of my face for pictures! I thought it was insulting, as were the "Skinny" comments. She snapped a photo of me laughing, looking at Christe before I had a chance to pose, my face is distorted in the picture, I'm pushing my stomach out (so it appears I have a belly because I was laughing, but, I don't), - even the angle was awful, my legs looked Very skinny in the photo. She posted it to Facebook and tagged me in it. I bet it was up there for at least an hour before I realized and took it down. It upset me because I have potential boyfriends on my Facebook.

I asked her not to do that anymore. She also hashed up 2 embarrassing personal stories which she loudly told my friend Christie about.

I also noticed how she told Christie and I about how her friend, who was hosting the party, and got a DUI (which she helped her out with), can't drive now after 6pm.

The next morning, while I was sleeping after a night out, she tagged me in another awful picture - that was obviously bad.

A couple of other things happened in the weeks previously and I just really started to question our friendship. I told her how I was feeling, really blew up at her, just let her have it.

She became very defensive and angry and said that she couldn't believe that I would accuse her of intentionally trying to make me look bad and she started talking about what a great friend she is, etc.

I told her that I wanted to take a break from hanging out. She removed me from her Facebook and I don't think we'll ever associate again.

I feel bad because in a lot of ways, - she seemed like a good friend? Did I overreact? I don't know if it makes sense to be friends with anyone who might not have your best interest in mind?
I really think a lot of people are missing the point, - it's about intentionally doing something that you Know makes your friend upset. The pics were awful, but, the fact that she continued to tag me in bad photos, even though she knew that I didn't like it, was more the point. It was Juvenile, thoughtless, slightly malicious, and, enough (combined with the other issues) to make me lose my trust in her. I could have kept it in, but instead, I confronted her about it and she reacted with anger instead of acting like a caring, understanding friend. Oh and a little vanity is okay, - it keeps us at our best! The on-line dating world (dating world in general) is Highly competitive when you are a woman of 39 competed with women a decade younger than you are. Get a Grip ladies!

[Cody]

She sounds annoying but harmless,you sound vain and immature..

[PEGGY S]

You sound to vane and concerned with your appearance. People are not the sum of their appearance. They are the sum of the whole person. You are acting overly sensitive and immature. If you do not like the way she acts, just ignore her and move on. She does sound a little loose with the tongue, when it comes to private information, so at the very least, never share your personal business with her again.

[Andrew]

I cant read all that but usually a female friend is a friend until she either dont need you or you dont need her ..real friends are hard to find and like it or not sometimes friends can be real stupid and petty and cruel just like any human being so remember nothing lasts forever and enjoy what you have coz one day it will be gone its just life now go and get the most from it.

[Mary]

I hate having my picture taken. I am famous for awful pictures. There is someone who is always posting the worst of the worst pictures I have ever taken on that stupid FB. No it's not paranoia on my part. Take an awful picture of this person and slap it on FB and watch them howl in anger and demand that their picture be taken down. So I know they fully know what they are doing. I now do not let people take pictures of me and make it known that I do not want my pictures on FB at all. People at first think I'm joking, but I am dead serious. I do not want to have to constantly scan FB looking for awful pictures of me in awkward poses because people can be mean, vain, and lie so I just don't agree to have my picture taken at all.

You are feeling a bit of regret because you blew up. The problem is that instead of saying, "I don't like that picture of me you put on FB, do me a favor and run it by me before you post any more pictures of me," you just kept on untagging them and ignoring the problem. It sounds like she may feel a little jealous of you.

You sort of miss her a bit, but there is a reason the two of you had a falling out. She wasn't that good of a friend, she put ugly pictures of you on FB. You were questioning this relationship before you blew up, so if you hadn't blown up it would have gone out with a fizzle. If it's bothering you, send her a short letter telling her you are sorry for the blow up, that you should have told her you were uncomfortable with the pictures sooner instead of letting it fester. Say that you realize that there may be issues the two of you can't resolve, but that you didn't wish this friendship to end on such an ugly note.

[Beth]

I think you can change your settings so people can't tag you in photos. Problem solved. Just tell her that you don't want her tagging you in photos. Tell her if she can't respect your wishes you will unfriend her.

[Renee Aponte]

I think you are over reacting. People have told me to get my hair out of my face and I have never thought it was rude. I hate pictures and have to pose 20 times before I like even 1 therefore when someone takes a picture of me, I usually hate it. My husband takes tons of pictures of me and I usually say ugh! when I see them but that is just because I dont like the way that I look in them. You mentioned quite extensively how much weight you and her lost and how she looks beautiful. You lady ma'am have low self esteem and you really need to work on that. When you have self esteem issues you seem to think that everyone is trying to make you look bad and that simply is not true. She sounds as though she was a good friend and you just might have lost that because of your issues.

[Kay]

You lost a most-likely good friend because of freaking facebook? My friends take bad pictures of me on purpose all the time that I really REALLY wish they didn't, but it's all fun and games. It's called friendship. If you're more concerned about all of the possible boyfriends you could have seeing you at your worst rather than caring for your friends feelings, you're shallow. Sorry honey but once you get married you won't look like Angelina J in your photoshopped fb pics anymore. smh.

[Amberful]

You must be very paranoid and insecure.