He doubts, blames, controls and fight all the time. Need help...?

[angel]

I am divorced and going for second marrige. The guy is a good profile in terms of home, income, family, and all the aspects a girl can hope for in a married life.. Its been almost 5 months I m talking to him and I was very much interest to go on and hv a life with him but there was a problem which I was ignoring and was thinking that nobody is perfect, so even he has a few. Negetive points.. His problem is he keeps on doubting me, blaming, and fight for no reason... And he can do it for all day long... non stop.... He doubts me even for smallest and tiny thing anyone can imagine, like if I say I have come out to eat something, he says are u sure you are alone... And if I say I am watching movie on TV at home with dad and mom on a Sunday evening or sitting withthem talking about something, he refuses to dissconnet the call and start arguing that why I am making excuses and I am not interested to talk to him. He keeps on blaming me that I was with someone or was talking to someone and cheating on him.. All the time.. He fights if he calls and finds my phone is busy even for a second or if I am online on Facebook or WhatsApp or not talking to him.. According to him I can only be on call, Facebook or WhatsApp if I am talking to him or else he fights badly.. And he also yells and shouts at me by saying "get lost", "get out of my life", or he keeps on saying I am a lier... All the time even when i never lied to him. And moreover he doesn't needs a reason or topic to fight, he can on anything and everything.
He writes me poems and goods also. I am so confused now... In begning i thought he is a smiple, sweet and a very loving guy... N he used to act like this i thought maybe becouse he is also divorced and got hurt in the past, and slowly he'll understand me and know me then he would easly trust me. I tried a lot and very hard in these 5 months but seems become worst day by day... He doesn't want me to meet or talk to my friends, doesn't want me to go out to any getheri

[bunnyONE]

Seriously Angel, read your own story here...I would not even REMOTELY consider remarriage to such a man, now that the romance has worn a bit in after 5 months and it turns out he's one antagonistic turd. I mean seriously dear, what can you be thinking?????????????????????

You need to let this one go because? HE'S NOT "the one" for a second time around marital experience. Surely you've learned this through dating/courtship with him, yes? He's got unresolved issues; some REAL baggage AS IN a nasty personality when it comes to blame and being downright antagonistic TO A TRUE FAULT.

He would also take control of your social life? Seeing friends? REALLY? -And you would consider remarriage TO HIM? Boy, you're in for a nightmarish experience, if not another failed marriage if you go through with this.

Grace

[?]

Run fast

[wutatool]

It sounds like he may be projecting his own behavior on you.
Many times when a person does something he or she knows is wrong that person will begin to suspect others of the same behavior.
There are many theories as to why this happens, like a bothered conscience manifesting itself, belief in karma or you reap what you sow.
Why it happens does not matter as much as just being aware that it does occur, so you can possibly recognize it when it applies.

[pinkpoodle]

That would be more than enough to make me say "C YA" I wouldn't even contemplate getting married with him. Sure everyone has good points no matter who they are but its the bad points that need more attention....can you honestly see you're self putting up and listening to him going on and on and on for the rest of your married life! I no I couldn't :-/

[Serene E]

Uh.......dear, you're not thinking straight. Blaming, controlling, fighting will make sure you don't have a happy marriage. I would marry a car mechanic who makes $15,000 a year if he made me happy and we could communicate well. Income, house, none of thatmatters if he's an azzhole who you can't talk to or trust.

[bambi1]

been there and got the t shirt,reading your letter is like living it over again.It was my second marriage,considerate kind loving until the ring was on my finger,then it changed,moved away from family and friends and had complete control mentally and physically.He controlled money what I wore and who I spoke to.not allowed to wear make up or nail varnish.I was just his skivvy.never had money as he took it and gave me a pittance to feed the children.In the end I ended up in a refuge.mental abuse is worse because it wears you down and you start to believe that its your fault and you deserve to be treated like dirt.physical abuse eventually heals but you never forget.He took 13 years of my life.Im free of him now but not the memories.Get out babe there is a lot of nice people out there you know its wrong or you wouldn't be asking for help.So easy to get into but so hard to get out of.Your worth more than that.Take care and be strong.

[Patricia]

He's insecure and also sounds like a huge pain in the a.s.s. to me. I wouldn't marry him.

And you've only known him for five months? Come back to reality. Five months, you're just getting to know him. If you think it's bad now, let us know how it's going in five more months.

Why are you lowering yourself to this sort of relationship?

[daddyslittlegirl]

He's a control freak, why would you even think of marrying him it's only been 5 months and this is the way he behaves. It wouldn't surprise me if he turned violent after he got the wedding ring on your finger because he would see it that you belong to him!! 5 months is far to short of time to be thinking of marrying someone especially if this is the behaviour. Break it of now because to be honest he sounds like a nutter and could do with some counselling for his anger and passiveness, there's definitely something not quite right with him to be honest I don't even think counselling would help him. Cut your losses and leave this possessive man in your past.


Good Luck xx