Please help me I feel awful?

[Liz]

I thought I'd put it all behind me but looks like the past is coming back to haunt me. There was this guy whom I'd known for five years and he was just... incredible. We weren't dating but we liked each other; every possible signal was there. And on many occasions he indirectly told me he loved me and I didn't believe him. And then we would have a fight after that. God, I was so stupid! I liked him and I never told him, but I wanted to and I was such a big coward about it. We had another fight, a big one this time and I'd said something I now deeply regret. I've never said how sorry I was and we haven't spoken since then. That was two years ago. I can't say I'm in love with him since I had a boyfriend which I'm no longer with. I keep thinking what would it have been if I'd told him how I've felt. And I keep beating myself up for it. How do I stop feeling like this? I feel if I'd told him we would have had the best relationship ever and that's what hurts the most.

How do I get closure without confronting him?

[Alex]

i dont see why you can't apologize. Guys are much more forgiving that woman. I honestly believe that you have to get this monkey off your back and tell him how you feel. Even if it fails horribly atleast you know you tried.

Thanks for answering mine.

[JoeCool]

I'm currently experiencing a similar situation. I recently had a pretty bad fight with a female friend of mine. We worked together as student assistants at my university, and we quickly grew close after finding out that we have a lot in common. I knew she had a boyfriend, but that was never a problem because our relationship was purely platonic. However, after some events that happened last year, I began developing feelings for her & became a bit clingy. I did my best to disengage my feelings, and we distanced ourselves from each other for a while. After some time, things were great between us again.

That was, until the week before her college graduation in December. She sent me a message out of the blue, saying that she wanted to sever ties with me. She accused me of trying to steal her away from her boyfriend, when this was never the case. I was always considerate of her boundaries, and I did my best to adjust my behavior. Her letter was very mean-spirited, and she didn't even give me a fair chance to mend things. That following week was a living hell -- not only did I have to see my former friend acting like everything was super great with co-workers right in front of me, but I also had to concentrate on passing my Final Exams.

On her last day of work, she didn't even say "Goodbye" to me. She went as far as blocking me from her Facebook account. I still have no idea where her sudden change of attitude came from...everything seemed great between us before Thanksgiving, and she had helped me through a serious crisis the month before.

I still feel deeply hurt, bitter, and betrayed about how she treated me, especially after everything I did for her. She hasn't contacted me since then, and I haven't tried texting her out of fear that she may block my number.

But here's the important thing I want you to take away from this: even after the way she treated me & all the suffering I've been going through as a result, I am still willing to forgive her & mend our friendship with her if she ever contacts me. My door will always be open for her, if she ever decides to come to her senses.

Trust in the friendship you built up with this guy for five years & try reaching out to him. If he's a true friend, he will respond. And if not, you can have your peace in knowing that you learned from your mistake & you did your part in reaching out to reconcile things. I can't guarantee a happy ending in this relationship, but if I'm willing to forgive my friend, then maybe there's hope for your friend as well.

Good luck! :3