My Dad and my friend have erotic chats with each other on Facebook. Do I confront them?

[Anna Thompson]

Hi everyone,

Well, I'm 23 and recently i made a disturbing discovery when i was using my dads computer and found out he has a folder where he stores erotic type messages and video chats he has with one of my friends(!!) who is also the same age.

I know they added each other on Facebook which i thought was a bit weird but this is completely beyond the mark.

He's 54 and still married to my mom so it makes me very uncomfortable.

Like, in his messages he tells her how pretty she is, she looks beautiful in this outfit, or wearing this make up and they laugh and flirt. I gets really bad when he says how much he wants to kiss her and hold her in his arms, lay in bed together etc. I really hope they haven't done this in real life.

In their video chats shes always showing lots of cleavage or even lying down in a mini skirt/shorts so he can see her bare legs, and will ask what he thinks. She's all giggling and provocative and trying to tease him and unfortunately he looks like he's really lusting after her in a highly sexual way.

How should I confront them over this? I don't mind them being friends on Facebook but this is too far. She's very attractive and has worked in nightclubs etc so maybe she's trying to bait him for money?

[Chaim Govnov]

Don't even go there. You aren't supposed to know about it, it will probably never go beyond chatting and is none of your business. If it goes beyond the chat, then you can confront them, but until then, is it worth ruining your parents marriage? I think not.

[B4i√uru/18?]

Tell your mom.

[Hannah]

That is terrible! SO WRONG AND GROSS!!! Just you have to watch out though because this most likely ruin your parents marriage if your mother finds out. Confront your friend, not your father.

[...]

Tell your mother be honest.....im sure about cooking a pizza dinner too maybe we can have erection chat too

[zoom]

Your father is the one to blame here... he is married, he is twice her age, and he is flirting with his daughter's friend!! Wrong, wrong, and wrong again.

You need to have a chat with him and tell him to quit or you will tell your mother.

[doctorr]

if i was in ur situation, I wouldnt tell my mom, cuz she will flip out... and i wouldnt tell my friend, cuz what the hell that weird.
the best thing is to talk to ur father, like wtf is going on ? its the only thing to do.. fathers sometimes learn from their children but they dont admit it because they are your "father" .. So yea, thats what i think.

[seneschal]

As an older guy, to get female attention like that from a much younger woman is very flattering. You need to try and understand his feelings before you go in with confrontations. You also need to think about the consequences should word of this get to your mother.
Its probably a mid life crisis for him and a thrill for your friend knowing she is such a turn on for her friends dad, its not so unusual so you shouldnt be angry with either of them but.......
Their relationship is ultimately doomed beacuase of the age difference but you wouldnt want your dad to lose everything because of it.
Its a tough call for you, maybe you should just have a quiet word with your dad and point out the things I've said and a quiet chat with your friend also.

I hope it works out ok for you all.