How to find a boyfriend????

[sali]

Hello guys, I am a gay man and I m having a problem on finding a boyfriend. When I was in college I had a wild life hooking up with beautiful men and I was very satisfied. After graduating I returned to my mother city where I live. i had some gay friends but now they have moved out.My city is very homophobic and the only place I can find gay men is the dating site Planetromeo. Eventhough I am a 24 years old tall blond guy with blue eyes, a nice shaped body the last 3 years out of bad luck everyone rejects me. The hot men reject me online because they are snob and all the other guys reject me because the feel inferior to me. The outcome is that with difficulty I find one or two guys per year that I don't like and have sex with them just to satisfy my needs but I feel empty. I found some of these hot men that they don't like me on facebook and the weird part is that they are friends with some of my friends (also gay) that are ugly, bold, fat and furry. Two of my fb friends that have a lot of extra kilos, kinda bears, they are not commonly accepted as beautiful, in every post they have 40 likes of hot men, the same men that rejected me. And I am confused. I don't wanna sound selfish but I thought in gayworld only the looks matter. Why these people are accepted by hot guys and I am not? I m starting to believe that I have a bad luck.It cant be explained otherwise.Or I m doing something wrong. This thing has an impact on my mood and of course my self-esteem has taken the low, low road. Whats ur opinion after reading this? Why is this happening? Any suggestion on ways of finding nice men or lifting my confidence would be very helpful!!!!!!

[Maverick]

Human males do not look for a partner till they are in their mid-twenties. Play the field till then, he may turn up.

[Mr. Happy]

...just get yourself "out-there" to San Fran"SICKO", kAlIfOrNiA and be with the rest of "them" ! You'll do just fine "out-there" ...furr surrr ! (or) Provincetown, Massachusetts...where the Girls are Girls and the Boys are too !

[Sky]

I'd say you're looking in the wrong places. First of all, even if your town is largely homophobic, there must be a GLBT support group or organization there or nearby where you can become active and potentially meet other guys. Second, try getting out of there and driving to other towns and cities nearby which are more gay-friendly or have more gay-oriented bars, clubs, etc. Third, it sounds like you're really not having any luck with the online places you've tried, so work on expanding your scope of where you look for a mate. There are dozens of singles sites, both general and interest-specific, and just about all of them allow people to look for same-sex mates. Even a Craigslist ad may help. Fourth, look at the information you're putting into the listings you already have. See if it paints a complete and accurate picture about who you are. If there isn't enough information about you to make a guy think you're an awesome sweetie then that would explain why some guys think they're inferior to you or out of your league if the most they have to go on is your picture. As far as the really hot guys rejecting you for snobby reasons, screw 'em; you wouldn't want to hook up with someone that shallow anyway.

(When you say "gayworld" I'm not sure if you're talking about some website, or in the general social world of gay people and the GLBT community.) The "gayworld" is no different than the "straight world" because looks are not all that matters. People are still people, and while looks may be important to some, looks are not what make a strong relationship. It takes chemistry between those involved, and that chemistry comes from personality. You're a person and whoever you're with is a person; while both being male is what attracted you to each other initially, you're both still looking for some form of a relationship. Some people may be looking only for a sexual hookup. Some people may be looking for friends with benefits, and want a good friendship that includes mutual sexual pleasures without having a full blown romantic relationship. And some people may be looking for a deep, loving, lifelong romantic relationship where lovemaking comes as a natural extension and expression of their love. That's why it's important to be open and honest with yourself both in onine singles listings and when talking with someone in person (through chat online/on the phone or face to face).

Also, I want to suggest that if you're not looking just for one night stands or friends with benefits and instead want something more committed and long lasting, don't have sex with other guys when you feel empty in the relationship. There's nothing wrong with two good close friends taking care of each other's sexual needs, but if you want more than that then hold off and share it with someone who makes your heart pound. In the meantime there are plenty of ways to take care of your own sexual needs.

Yes, you're likely just experiencing a run of bad luck. Hang in there and don't give up hope. Also, don't put so much focus on finding a relationship. If it happens then wonderful, but if it doesn't happen it's not the end of the world. Love can happen when you least expect it.