Got into a huge mess with my boyfriend, and his female best friend?

[M]

Ive been with my bf for over 2 years now, and he’s a great guy. I’ve always been insecure about one of his female best friends, to the point where I told him he needs to stop talking to her. Eventually, however, I realized I was being stupid, and apologized-and they continued to talk. 2 days ago, however, I got into a twitter fight with the same female best friend. The fight ended shortly because I stopped replying to her. Following which, I told my boyfriend about it, but he said he wasn’t going to get involved because it had nothing to do with him. Nevertheless, the girl started writing more insulting things about me on her twitter even after the fight was over. I messaged my bf telling him I was hurt that he didn’t even bother to stop her. He thus went, and told her he wouldn’t tolerate hearing crap about his gf (me). As a result, they both got into a fight and stopped talking.

Now, my boyfriend feels like he has lost both his best friend, and me. I am hurt as well because he’s coming to me and grieving over her loss. I tried to be nice and comfort him, but I mean at the same time, how can I tolerate him grieving the loss of a girl who said so much crap about me? What do I do in this situation?

P.s We are all in our early 20s

[Because I Said So]

Then you should all be mature enough to put this behind you..

[Aidan]

I've been in the same situation,and I can tell you,re-assure him that you love him no matter what,you hate to see him upset and you'll do anything to make him feel better.
At which point you need to do the impossible.
(This next bit seems crazy but it's the only way).
You need to apologise to your boyfriends girl best friend for what YOU have done (i know you have dine nothing,but go with it) you need to explain how you got mardy over nothing and that your boyfriend started arguing between all of you because of how much he loves the both of you,and say this "if you love him as much as any friend could,you'd hate to see him upset,he really misses being your friend and needs you to be happy,just as he needs me"
I hope this helped!

[Aidan]

This does sound rather like a mess.
I'm so glad to be older and not involved with texting, twitter, and the plethora of social media out there. That sort of communication just seems to cause so much trouble.

Frankly, I think that you are right to object to his relationship with this female. The older I get and the more experience I have in the world, the more I realize that it's true that men and women can't be friends (unless one of them is gay - and frankly if it's the woman who is gay, I'm betting the man is still holding onto hope). In the immortal words of Billy Crystal, "Men and women can't be friends"..

I suggest that you stop feeling bad that he's lost this friend and stop trying to "comfort" him for losing her. She was your rival for his attention and frankly, that whole being in a relationship with you but having a best friend who is a female...there's something wrong in all that. I'm assuming that all parties are heterosexual here - human beings are hard wired for certain things, and that whole scenario sounds very unnatural to me. (This is not a gay slur, I'm just assuming everyone here is straight - no offense intended to gays anywhere - just defining the dynamic).

Frankly, I think he needs to be more sensitive to YOUR feelings about this girl and her involvement in his life. I was glad when I saw you finally say he stood up to this girl about you. That's how it should be. Sounds to me like she was trying to shove a wedge between the two of you - probably because she wants to take over the relationship with him. Forget the mumbo-jumbo smoke screen about bff, etc. That's all a smokecreen. At your ages, it's all about sex. Period.

If you want to have a relationship with this guy, then do so. But be clear that you are THE female in his life and will brook no interference in your relationship with him from another female, his bff (yeah, right) or not.

If my guy was mooning around over some other girl...I'd be pretty irritated and wouldn't want to hear about it.

If he breaks things off with you over her, that just proves me even more right. Next thing you know, they'd be married...