Should I stay or should I go now?

[Lamalamadingdong]

THE BACKGROUND

So, me and my gf have been together for 3 years now, I met her thru some friends and we liked eachother and started going out and since I was going for a dry spell at the time I kept seeing her despite the fact that the only thing in common we had was extremely hot sex, but the we kinda felt comfortable with eachother, we're both 30 so maybe we though "this" is the person I want to marry and all that social bullshit.

my gf's a good nature woman, very hard worker, very pasionate and caring, she's not the smartest tool in the shed, so I've been "guiding" her since the beggining, trying to make her get a lame associate degree on marketing, I'm a go-getter, I'm 28 and just finished my Master's Degree, on Industrial Engineer, I'm a Mechanical Engineer.

Anyway I'm just trying to give you some perspecting on the next situation.

THE SITUATION

I have a mutual crush on a girl at work, I've met her from some other unrelated friends before and always lover her face, never really spoke to her since 4 or so years until a week when she started at my co. She's gorgeous, very intelligent tall blond green eyed girl, I'm talking a doll, but then again it's not just the looks, I've talked to her about things my gf wouldn't even understand or care for that matter.

I forgot to mention, she has a boyfriend. she and her man obviously are going thru some struggles we've talked very little about eachothers relationships.

Now, we have not done anything yet, but we are going out in fact tomorrow for our "boss' birthday party" which is really happening but we're just going only to see eachother.

I've made a bond with this girl so nice and fast, it feels so right, like this is the right one, I really care for my gf, I'm kinda dead inside so I don't really feel that love, I just care about the interaction on the relation, cause that's what makes one. But I never felt like this with her, everything was so sexual and burning fast, and then we settle with eachother.


THE QUESTION

Should I keep moving forward with this, I mean, I really don't want to cheat but I know we will, we really don't care cause we share the notion that we're pasionate humans, who just found themselves too lil too late.

ps: do not hate, just give a straight opinion and be nice it's not like I planned this shit.

[RobertRay]

You really should not start up something new while you are still in another relationship and neither should this other girl. It's not fair of you to cheat. However, being that you admitted you really don't "feel it" with your girlfriend do you honestly see yourself spending the rest of your life with her? Why drag it out anymore if certain crucial feelings are missing?

There is no guarantee that this new girl is the answer, and no guarantee she will end her relationship, but you should do what you need to do FOR YOU, and for her so she can move on with her life. Whether you end up alone or with this other girl, it's not fair to you or your girlfriend to hold on to something that is destined to end sooner or later.

[Sue C]

In all fairness, neither of you are "bound firmly" with others. Yes you have "boyfriends"/"girlfriends", but nothing permanant as in husband/wife. I say you still have the opportunities to be able to find just the rite one yet & that you should do it before it's too late If you both feel the same, I'd say neither one are "positive" with who you're with, or the tho't wouldn't have even entered your mind. Once you've "committed" to "the one", it's a bit too late. I always say there are reasons for things that happen, regardless if we know why or don't. I say to at least take this chance before you're unable to do so in the future. Take a chance on why this opportunity arose in the first place & at least you'll know one way or another...all the best to you...

[Kathy]

If you don't feel love for your gf then just let her go so she can find love.
As for this new lady go for it ,but you need to be honest with your gf and tell her she is not the one who you want to spend your life with,be kind tell her she should date other guys. But don't go behind her back and cheat don't hurt her.you aren't in love with her so if things with the lady makes you happy then go for all the happiness,but don't jerk your gf around. Set her free be honest. You will feel better too,and you and this lady will start out on right foot. Ok I sure hope this lady is the one,but have her be honest to her bf it's not a good start to a relationship if one is cheating .and sex isn't the major part of a relationship it's respect,love,communication,friendship,honesty,is anyways that's how I feel. I really hope you find the whole package in this lady.

[Lost]

You sound like you think you are better than your girlfriend...? No hate, just a feeling I got from your post: "she's not the smartest tool in the shed", "you've been guiding her"...
Love, for me, is about being in awe of the person you are in love with... I look up to my boyfriend. He surprises me everyday with his hard work, his intelligence, his passion for everything he does, his success... We both have very different careers and cultural backgrounds so we bring a lot to the table for each other to learn from. Does that make sense? There is something so rewarding about going home, telling your guy about a promotion or a job offer, or an exceptional evaluation at work, asking him why he's not as excited as you are and he answers "it was obvious you were going to get it/ you were going to succeed. etc" As if there is no surprise for him in it because he recognises your abilities.

For me, it's one of the key reasons why we respect each other so much and if you don't have this with your girlfriend then, I'm sorry to say, your relationship will die. It might already be dead since you are feeling things with another woman other than her (more than just sexual).

Don't get me wrong, my relationship is not a benchmark and it's far from perfect (who's relationship is?!!) but it's just my humble opinion :-) hope this helps!