Why does my husband let his family walk all over him?

[rouxlily1968]

have been married for almost 20 years, My husband is the middle child off divorced parents who get along ( his dad was an alcoholic). He puts their self-serving narcistic needs before his and it makes me INSANE. I have tried to keep my mouth shut but they never listen to him because he refuses to stand up for himself. I hate seeing him as the victim. It just a vicious cycle that I no longer wish to be apart of.

Thanks for letting me VENT.

[Kathy]

Since it's been going on for over 20 years, I hope you realize he's not going to change. You are the one who is either going to have to learn to accept that's the way he is, or get stressed every time it happens.
Your husband is a middle child which means that he is the "mediator". He wants to keep the peace and doesn't like to rock the boat. It's a part of his nature. Unless this has a big effect on you, I would just realize that he's not perfect and things could be a lot worse.

[lipglossgirl]

Sounds like your husband is a special and patient man...

[Patrick]

Your husband can stop returning the calls and they will get the point. Why have a face off when he can just avoid them. Sounds like hes too quick to listen to them for what ever reason it is. Be prepared for them to say that hes being disrespectful and all that reverse psychology crap. Better yet. Dont return the calls. You can also step in and answer their questions as an unbiased person.

[Good Life by Love]

seek couples counseling so a professional can get him to change

Arguing is normal but is it good? no, so make sure it is 7 years no arguments. After 7 solid years of perfect marriage then a child if desired.

If things are minor I usually just wouldn't even give it a second thought. If it is major I just fix it the best way and that's it. Maybe this will be a good method for you guys. Always reinforce it with Love

Also I see premarital counseling working.Church usually has it for free. You can even attend after marriage.

. I hope you can be stay at home wife ([no school]events with guys around unless your husband is there 100%) that takes care of all the woman things and he is taking care of all the man things like lifting, fixing working outside and handling all those jerks, and if you do work outside you know what I mean. I hope you can be a home wife so the marriage can be a loving one with peace. He wants a feminine wife not a worker guy. If you make double what he makes he should stay home.
*Talking is good. Find a private place to talk with time to talk. Never teach, just inform if necessary and in a meek manner. Handle the kids and teach them with few words and listen well, pay attention to details. If some parts kids can't be handled then inform the husband.
*Be a good wife and make sure all the cooking and cleaning is done. Stay Fit, Smell Good, Dress well. Make sure to make love when ever either of you want.
*Be meek. Quick to listen, slow to speak. Only tell him things when needed. Never teach him. If you do tell him something make sure it is kindly. Handle the kids, and if you notice you can't for sure then inform him in a kindly way.
*Hugs and kisses are always good any time, instead in front of the guys otherwise the guys might want some too. Make sure to let him know to keep the making love part private.
*Remember your NEVER a push over, you LOVE so you give BUT if your ever taken advantage fix it asap with a calm talk in a private place with time to talk while hugging and ending it with a kiss and maybe love.
*Make sure your spouse can handle things, like if he is not good with money maybe he should handle it. I mean like saving for a 6 month rainy day and then increase that as much as you can as time goes on. Buy a house cash small to start and then bigger when you decide and ready to have a child so the child can stay in one community for their whole school life and a place to come home always during Holidays and for you to plant your plants and watch them grow and to grow old in, make sure to pay cash or go smaller if needed or just wait on the child/bigger home, peace is most important. Retirement, Vacations.
Also make sure to put a small bundle of money as a emergency fund for you

Also I see counseling working.
On another note: Try your best. Love like you never love before. This is the best way for love to come and start surrounding your life. May love be around you, through you and is you.
Love and the Good Life will come
Email me if you have another further statements glhww@yahoo.com
P.P.S. More & daily words of encouragements TWITTER my account is = @glhww
P.P.P.S. Majority of my answers are for the majority, there are many variables to consider always
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