I've been feeling suicidal, what should I do?

[Charley]

I have suffered with Depression and Anxiety for many years now, it's gotten worse lately because my parents have split up and I have been having panic attacks which stops me from doing things that I enjoy doing. A lot of my friends have turned on me lately because they've found out about my depression. I had a female friend who was there at first but now she barley even acknowledges me and has been ignoring me for a while because a friend of mine had said something to her on facebook which was nothing to do with me.
I sent her this message below, tell me what you think, I've lost so many friends I don't want to lose her too. Tell me if this message sounds ok? The reason I want to send her this message is because I've come close three times now in the past month of killing myself. That's the thing with people, they moan when the person's dead saying that they wished they helped them, but when the person is alive begging them for help, people act like they don't want to know. It annoys me, if I'm dead why care then it's too late. I've had problems with bullies, I'm ugly, I find it extremely hard to relate and get on well with people. I'm a nice guy to people but they just act like douches to me. How can I stay happy when I have nobody to support me, I should just die already



I'm going to be straight with you, the reason I'm talking to you a lot is because I think you're a nice cool person and you are the only female friend I have really, and I feel like I can trust you because you seem kind. I know I don't know you really well but to me you seem like a tidy person and we were getting on extremely well the first few months of college.
It's hard to talk to guys about problems and family. I'm really upset, sometime last week I almost took my own life. Please don't tell anybody, My mother already knows about this. I just need to chat because I have suffered with this for many years but since October it's just been really bad. Please don't be mad at me, I've lost over 5 friends in the last few months because of my depression. I just feel useless to everybody, and I have let people down.
If I ever need to talk to someone can I talk to you? right now I've only got my mother and my brothers are too young to know what I'm going through. I don't mean to talk about it but I've come close a few times now. I have driven people away, I can't explain why I feel like I am, I just think I'm a loser and a failure. I have no self confidence because I've had people bully me for being ugly and thin.
I know you have your own life, all I ask is if I can talk to you 1-2 times a week. Like I said I'm there for you too and for my other friends if they need me because I hate to see people upset or angry. I just like to make sure things are mellow and calm between people. I still feel bad about what happened with you and ben. I worry a lot about ****. To be honest Ben is not the best guy to talk too because he just argues with a lot of people for no reason, I feel bad for saying that about him but it's true, I don't want to get involved with that.
Please don't block me or anything, I just want someone to talk too. I understand you're busy with college but I still want us to get along. All I ask is for us to be friends and not be moody with each other. We've both been through a lot, we don't deserve to be treated badly by people. Ben was in the wrong for what he did to you, it's just Bizarre.
Believe it or not but if I talk to someone like you or my other friends, it makes me feel happier because it takes my mind off things. Don't worry about responding now but would it be ok if we could talk sometime during the next few days?

[Adam]

I know you are not going want to do this but, you should go to the hospital and get checked out. I had the same thing going on, but last month I tried to kill my self and my friends got me help, a lot of them have turned on me since I been out but oh well. if you need someone to talk to you can add me on facebook https://www.facebook.com/adamflynn92