How to tell someone you think you have social anxiety disorder?

[Madeline]

I was always a shy little kid. I was the quiet one in elementary school, and I didn't like having to talk to people I didn't know well. I was a little tense in social situations, but I thought it was all pretty normal.

In middle school, I still just thought I was shy. I kind of noticed that I didn't talk as much as other kids, and I still didn't like being in large groups of people, since it made me jittery, but I figured I was just an introvert, and it wasn't too big of a deal.

I'm a sophomore in high school now, and my nervousness around other people has only intensified, to a point where I feel like it's ruining my life. I feel completely isolated from other people, all the time. I've tried to make friends, and while I've made a few, I'm not really close with them, and I notice how comfortable they all seem together, while I just feel awkward and weird when I hang out with them. They feel more like acquaintances than anything else, just because I'm not comfortable with opening up to anyone. I can't do anything with public speaking, which is ruining my grades, and making me miserable (we have to give speeches pretty often in English....I typically end up either in tears, or shaking and stuttering uncontrollably by the end of the speech). We have to participate in a debate in February in my current English class, and I've had panic attacks about it numerous times before, even though it's months away. I have a really hard time ordering food at restaurants, and talking on the phone, so I try to avoid it at all costs (other times, when I have to go out, I make my sister order food for me, or talk to strangers). Texting is sometimes easier for me, in terms of talking to people, but I get nervous on social media too. I freak out when I'm about to post a status on Facebook, since everyone will see it, which is why I rarely post anything anymore. I don't know how to loosen up and have fun either, which makes it hard to interact with people my age. I went bowling with some "friends" the other day, and the bowling alley was playing music, so they started dancing. No one was watching, and I should have been able to just start dancing and being weird, but I couldn't because I was just...paranoid. I have a hard time relating to people in general, and I never know what to say when I have to talk to people. I panic when people ask me questions, and, since I usually don't know what to say, I end up looking clueless, before responding with some kind of answer that makes me sound really stupid or weird. I can't talk to anybody without worrying, and everyday, I wake up and hate the fact that I'm going to go to school, only to feel isolated and different from everybody else.

People always tell me to just "be myself," but I feel like my true self is the person that's scared of other people, and I hate that.

I've been doing a lot of research, and I think a lot of this sounds like social anxiety disorder. I've felt like this for a long, long time, and I've never done anything about it, but it's a new year, and I want to take a step in the right direction, and finally do something about this. I don't know how to bring it up though. I'm way to scared to talk to my parents, but I'm scared of talking to my school's psychologist too, since I don't know what he would do, or if he would make me talk to my parents. I know I have to talk to people if I want the problem to go away, but it's hard when that's the exact thing that I'm afraid of.

Any and all advice is appreciated! Thank you, and Happy New Year!

[ashley]

Okay so I know that you're scared to talk to your school therapist BUT there is some good in that. He can talk to you about it and help you tell your parents. Now I'm sure you are scared of how your parents will react and everyone knows they react more politely and understanding when someone they are not 100% comfortable with is there. So once you talk to your school therapist you guys can set up a meeting with your parents and in that meeting not only will you be there to explain to them how you are feeling he will be there to explain to them also that this is not some crazy thing you are experiencing that many people feel like this. In return your parents are not going to blow up or freak out because for one he is there and for two he has college knowledge of these types of things, plus he is an adult and we all know adults only listen to adults. I hope that helped a little. I hope the best for you and I hope you find help because I deal with this personally and its a nightmare when you have to hide it and deal with it alone. Happy new year

[Bud B]

These tips are for people who stutter but maybe some of them will help you.

Tips for doing a presentation

Know your subject matter really well and practice reading to your dog or just out loud to yourself ahead of time.

Look over the heads of the class at a point on the wall in the back of the room. The class will think you are looking at them, and the teacher will think you are looking at your audience.

Don't notice any reaction from the class. Their reaction doesn't matter, but it might make you feel more nervous.

Concentrate on what you are saying rather than how you are saying it.

Don't try to keep from stuttering as that will make you stutter more. If you stutter, just let it happen.

Maintain a steady pace, not too fast, and don't get in a hurry to "get it over with."

Speak in a relaxed manner and pause every so often.

Start into words easily keeping your lips, tongue, and jaw relaxed.

Realize that stuttering occurs more often when you are trying NOT to stutter, when you are under stress, and when you are tired.

Talk to the teacher and ask if you can try doing a presentation with someone reading along with you. Have your presentation written out with another copy for either a student or the teacher and see if reading in unison helps you. After you are comfortable with that, try again alone.